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Jomlett

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Jomlett
Now that the barbers have reopened, queues are so long that the staff have started handing out burgers and sausages. 10/10 - definitely the best barber queue I’ve been to....
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On the death of Lou Ottens, inventor of the cassette tape, aged 94. At least he got to C90...
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It’s reported that Donald Trump has overcome his distaste for keeping pets and adopted a cat. Of course this could be Fake Mews....
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The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well,...
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Yeah!!! First trip booked for 2021... Hopefully off to Iceland in February. If that goes well probably looking at Asda in March and Tesco in April....
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The technical term for when you wear glasses with a mask and your glasses fog up is "2020 vision"....
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I remember one Christmas in the 70's when my sister was only 6. She got a peanut stuck in her ear and it could not be dislodged. My dad poured some chocolate in her ear and it came out a treat!
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Trump is at a loose end so decides to take flying lessons. "What are all these buttons for?" he asks "To keep your shirt closed, Sir" comes the reply....
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file:///var/mobile/Library/SMS/Attachments/53/03/0151BF1F-BE4F-4728-A938-6E497D7B1DC6/0c2a349d-899f-40e1-b25b-a60bf3dbe04e.mov
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Bono, in an attempt to diversify his business income has released a new Satnav onto the market. It’s rubbish, the streets have no names and I still haven’t found what I’m looking for....
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...On Christmas Eve you open it to reveal the baby cheeses.
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Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it is FOR BIDEN....
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I went for a hearing test yesterday and the doctor said 'Can you describe the symptoms'? I said 'Yeah, Homer is a sort of yellow colour with bulging eyes'....
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What do you call a row of 10 rabbits jumping backwards? A receding hare line....
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Just had a painter and decorator round to do some work on the house. Turns out he's a currently furloughed British Airways pilot ... he's made a lovely job of the landing.
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A Team leader Hannibal Smith will take part in the next series of Celebrity Bake Off. He loves it when a flan comes together.
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I’m looking for some advice with a problem we have with persistent condensation in our house. You’re welcome to come over and have a look any time. The kettle’s always on....
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There's something that I don't like about "DO NOT TOUCH" signs. I just can't put my finger on it....
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https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EdIRc0rXsAAjYS9?format=jpg&name=large...
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Amazon sale's on. I ordered four Kindles and they sent me a Two Ronnies DVD.

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