A beautiful blonde is standing on the edge of a cliff, when a bloke walks past. "Excuse me," he says. "Are you thinking of jumping?" "Yes" she replies. "Life is worthless." "Before you jump" he says...
He says to Paddy : Excuse me, whats the quickest way to Dublin? Paddy : Are you thinking of going by car, by bus or on foot? Englishman : By car. Paddy : Yes, Sir. Thats the quickest.
Sharon picks up her mobile phone while driving home. "Be careful", says her boyfriend. "It says on the news that a maniac is driving the wrong way up the A13". "Not just one", says Sharon "There's...
Apparently, Heather Mills was described as "unbalanced" during her recent divorce hearing. Sir Paul McCartney responded that a beer mat under the left leg usually did the trick.
Poland is asking for aid following a major earthquake that killed thousands. USA is sending a cash donation, China is sending food. England is sending replacements.
A question was asked at work the other day, and I cannot see how there can be a difinitive answer (but I am a bit thick). Can anyone help? 4 men are buried up to their necks in sand. Man A is to the...
I just got a new voice-activated car radio. I shout "Country" and it plays Dolly Parton. I shout "Rock" and it plays Guns n Roses. I was driving through town this morning, when a couple of youngsters...
Paddy is sitting next to a priest on a flight. Paddy ordered whisky and coke. The flight attendant asked the Father if he would like a drink. He replied, in disgust: "I'd rather be raped by a dozen...
