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Cheryl Cole - Bum Tattoo

Have you seen the Rose Design tattoo on Cheryl Cole's bum. What was she thinking, silly girl. How can you think this is good looking. I don't think she understood what having rosy cheeks meant....
20:02 Sat 24th Aug 201328 answers, last by pixie373 20:42 Sat 24th Aug 2013
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Sleep Like A Baby

Bloke One: I slept like a baby last night. Bloke Two: What like, peaceful and contented! Bloke One: No. I pissed and she-hat myself....
14:43 Fri 23rd Aug 20131 answer, last by cupid04 15:55 Fri 23rd Aug 2013
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Have You Heard. . .

Singer Suggs is to appear in his own computer game. It's Madness gone PC....
16:14 Fri 02nd Aug 20131 answer, last by marval 17:02 Fri 02nd Aug 2013
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Summer Foot Wear

I saw a drunk man walking home from the beach today wearing only one flip flop on his feet. I asked him: "Did you lose a flip flop?". "No - found a flip flop" he replied....
00:51 Sun 21st Jul 20137 answers, last by Canary42 03:43 Mon 22nd Jul 2013
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Hit The Bottle

I tried to get my girlfriend one of those Coca Cola bottles with her name on it. I couldn't find any so I got her a Kit Kat Chunky....
21:41 Mon 10th Jun 20134 answers, last by frozengal 06:53 Tue 11th Jun 2013
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Party Trick Habit

My best mate used to snort coke. He had to stop when an ice cube got stuck up his nose....
18:36 Sun 02nd Jun 20132 answers, last by cupid04 19:48 Sun 02nd Jun 2013
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The Big Match - Stupid Joke

I was listening to the big match earlier. I burnt my ear....
20:05 Mon 13th May 20137 answers, last by maggiebee 22:00 Mon 13th May 2013
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Dip Stick

I took a dip in my local swimming pool today. The lifeguard asked me, "What's that you've got there?". "Hummus". Sorry, worst joke ever ;)...
22:21 Mon 06th May 201312 answers, last by Jemisa 15:45 Tue 07th May 2013
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Naughty Naughty (Adults)

Dave arrives home early from work and found his best mate Tony in bed with his wife. In a fit of rage, he dragged Tony down to his garden shed, put his knob in the vice and removed the handle after...
20:25 Fri 26th Apr 20135 answers, last by tonyav 00:09 Sat 27th Apr 2013
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Sad News

Old Kenny was killed at work last week. He worked as a Fork Lift Truck driver at the local Chocolate Factory for the past 17 years and was a much loved and well-respected employee. Carrying out his...
21:18 Wed 24th Apr 201312 answers, last by LochNessMonster 11:35 Sat 27th Apr 2013
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Ding Dong - A Few Jokes To Exercise The Chuckle Muscles

I was sitting at home tonight watching the TV when the door bell went. Kids these days, they’ll nick anything. What's the first sign of madness? Suggs walking up your garden path. Morris dancing!...
00:29 Sun 14th Apr 20139 answers, last by marval 16:35 Sun 14th Apr 2013
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Glaswegian Humour

Young bloke from Glasgow takes his girlfriend home for the first time and says: “This is Amanda.” And his Da goes: “It’s a WHIT??”...
19:21 Sat 13th Apr 20137 answers, last by Wharton 23:47 Sat 13th Apr 2013
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Carol Vorderman

Carol Vorderman broke her nose falling down the stairs. She hit two from top and three from the bottom. Ouch!...
00:32 Sat 30th Mar 20132 answers, last by frugalfred 14:51 Sat 30th Mar 2013
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Book 'em Danno

I've just written a book called "101 Ways To Revive The High Street". It's available on Kindle from Monday. Favourite text joke this week - so far. . ....
23:02 Thu 28th Feb 20136 answers, last by LochNessMonster 09:35 Sat 02nd Mar 2013
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Poor Sales

The sales of various brands of lasagne have taken a tumble since the outbreak of the horse meat scandal. This is according to a poll by gallop....
21:47 Sun 10th Feb 20132 answers, last by Jemisa 23:22 Sun 10th Feb 2013
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Jokes In Readiness For Valentines Day - Missed Them Last Time Round

There’s a very important day approaching very soon so don’t forget. I love Pancake Tuesday. I got the girlfriend a new bag and a new belt. The hoover works a treat now. I booked a table for us...
21:41 Sun 10th Feb 20134 answers, last by Starbuckone 19:01 Mon 11th Feb 2013
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Yet Another Horse Joke To Groan At

My mate tells me that he has been getting deaths threats. He woke up this morning with a Findus Lasagne on his pillow....
00:36 Sun 10th Feb 20138 answers, last by mrs.chappie 02:07 Mon 11th Feb 2013
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Distant Donor

This bloke gets a bone marrow transplant from a donor in Argentina and the operation was a great success. So he wrote him a thank you letter which began – “Dear Diego, Marrow Donor...”...
23:34 Thu 24th Jan 20139 answers, last by Tubbycoates 14:38 Fri 25th Jan 2013
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Ooops! Bad Text Joke.

Apparently a jigsaw isn't a suitable present for a 4 year old at Christmas. The little one nearly lost 2 fingers playing with it. Always keep the receipt folks....
23:43 Mon 31st Dec 20122 answers, last by excelsior-1 15:03 Tue 01st Jan 2013
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Puppy Love

I got the girlfriend a pug dog for her birthday. Despite the big bulging eyes, fat face, wrinkles and flat nose; the dog still likes her....
19:48 Fri 28th Sep 20124 answers, last by Starbuckone 21:48 Fri 28th Sep 2012

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