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Cracker Jokes Needed

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venator | 09:07 Mon 08th Dec 2014 | Christmas
18 Answers
I'm making our crackers this year, with decent contents, but need some really good corny jokes.

Any offerings will be gratefully received...
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what did one snowman say to another ......... can you smell carrots
What's big, red and eats rocks?


A big, red rockeater!
scorpiojo: cheers lol.
:o)
Question Author
Thanks for that link, scorpiojo - just what I needed!
Question Author
Wonder why it didn't come up in the useless "Related Questions" spot?
Oops, sorry Mazie
Not a problem Jo. (Morning x)
Question Author
Thanks everybody.

I reckon Answerbank is the natural home for cracker jokes!
:)
Hi Venator,

How about this one:

We hear on the news that Christmas decorations are more popular than ever this year, apart from advent calendars...

their days are numbered :-)

auntie xxx
On a really hot day, a penguin takes his car to a mechanic.
The penguin asks, "How long will it be?" The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes."
So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street. When the penguin gets there, he climbs inside the big freezer door and starts to eat ice cream.
Three hours go by before the penguin looks at his watch and jumps out of the freezer and races back to the mechanic. With ice cream all over his face and his stomach, he asks, "So how's my car?" The mechanic comes walking out wiping his hands on a rag and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says, "No, no, no. I was just eating ice cream."
q. Why does a duck put its head under water?

A. For divers reasons.

(divers = older spelling of diverse)

What did the cobbler say when a swarm of flies came into his shop? Shoo.

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