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Anyone any experience of High Functioning Aspergers?

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annie0000 | 15:04 Sat 19th Mar 2011 | Parenting
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Just found out yesterday that my beautiful amazing 10 year old son is suspected to have this syndrome. I guess this somewhat explains the issues he has had with bullying and his reaction to it. I have been reading lots on-line, but just wondered if anyone had any personal experience or advice that they could share?
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Thanks annie i thought as much about her being over affectionate.

Basically she was removed because they couldnt cope with her behaviour! I think she would run around and she wont sit stil ot take a telling. No intentions of writing etc.

At first i thought adhd, but she would sit at times and watch a whole cartoon so the doc said it wasnt that. But she hasnt had any tests as such. Personally if she was my daughter id want a "diagnosis", but who am i to say!

Its hard to understand her speech. Its almost slurry, she was kept back a year at school and that hasnt helped. She isnt just bad behaved, there is something going on. But she would try the patience of a saint lol my aunts constantlynin tears its such a shame.

Xxx thanks for the link xxxx
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Looking at the info - could be more impulsive and hyper rather than affection as such maybe? My son can be be very physical and does enjoy rough play but I wouldn't say he was affectionate although he can be over emotional.
We have a close friend with High Functioning Aspergers. She had few problems at school but ran into difficulties in the work situation where they did not make any allowances for her disability. When they accept a person they can be very caring but too many people know so little about the problem so her range of friends is very limited.

She can be a child among adults and is obsessive about her interests while appearing to blank out any topics which are not high on her interest list.

It seems to be that the best break an Aspergers person can have is to meet a partner who can look after them- hence the benefits available. Good fortune to all you brave parents.
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Thanks seadog - the best bet seems to be to get them into a career where their strengths are best utislised - engineering or science/research etc. As my son had already decided he wants to be an engineer or architect, I think his future in that way may not be very much different regardless of his diagnosis. Hopefully he will be able to improve his social skills enough (without resorting to alcohol!!) to enable him to find a partner.
Some children suffering from Aspergers syndrome have obsessional behaviour. Lining up toy cars, only eating some foods. Try to interrupt such behaviour.Can become a real problem later. Know a child who has an irrational fear of buttons and screams if anyone has them on clothes. Some are extra sensitive to sounds which frighten them eg Freezers in supermarkets or unusual smells. Some have a great rapport with animals. Keeping pets seems to be a solace. Non-judgemental.
Physical exercise may help, if you can get him out of the house.
Hope things go well with you. Post if you need support.
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Thanks Daisy will do - he is definitely on the milder end of the scale I think - we will find out more when he eventaully gets his appointment. he does love the outdoors and is now super excited cos he has 3 Scout camps on the horizon!
Encourage the camps. He will enjoy them. Do not let "the Authorities" fob you off if you think that your son needs help. Remember that he may find it difficult to empathise or put himself in somebody else's place. Teachers should be aware of this.
Many children who are diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome take life literally. Tell them to take a running jump and they will! Love to you and your son.
///Some children suffering from Aspergers syndrome have obsessional behaviour. Lining up toy cars, only eating some foods. Try to interrupt such behaviour///


I really wouldn't try this, you are making a rod for your own back if you do! Unless the obsessive behaviour is dangerous to the child you should just let them carry on, there is no harm in it whatsoever.
I agree with daffy here, sometimes the obsessional behaviour can calm him down when he feels out of control, nervous or vulnerable. taking away his calming mechanism could do more harm than good,
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Thanks guys, luckily my son doesn't do any of that - he just reads!
Hello, hope you don't mind me butting in, but I have been very moved by your support of each other. I started to read it just through curiosity and think you are all a wonderful group of people. This is just what a site like this should be. I do hope you find ways for your children to cope with life, which is difficult anyway. It has made me wonder about my grandson (now 21), but he seems to have coped and is now at uni. He used to sing to himself in class and didn't make friends very well. He seems to have a good group of friends now. Interesting you said about engineering - that's what he's gone into. He was eventually diagnosed as being mildly dislexic, but I have always wondered if there was anything else.
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hellywelly - don't feel like you are butting in - that's what I love too - everyone just joins in! I'm glad to hear that grandson has done do well. All the best!
My son wants to go into developing computer games, many children with Aspergers syndrome seem to like the technical stuff.
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I read somewhere that the levels of people with Aspergers type behaviours either diagnosed or not is far higher in IT, Actuarial/accountancy, Engineering, Science etc As much as 10 times the average that exists in the general population.
I wouldn't interrupt the obsessional behavior, it can give them comfort and its an overwhelming urge and would cause more anxiety trying to stop it.
Helly welly, you can still get adults diagnosed, it can help some people know theyre not crazy and offers coping strategies. Dyslexia is often linked with Aspergers as is ADHD, dyspraxia etc. All children on the spectrum are very different and can have some problems that others don't etc.
Annie, he see's his dad but gets very upset with him and comes straight home often.
Tony Attwood says that secondary school is where they often start to struggle as friendship needs/expectations change, they are expected to be more organised, increased workload/organisational skills, noisy environment.

I find he comes out with some totally random comments at inopportune moments!
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That's a real shame missr. It must be tough dealing with all this by yourself, are they doing anything special in terms of his transition to high school? Re the inappropriate comments - must be quite funny sometimes as well as embarrassing! Although, that's maybe just being a 10 year old boy and nothing to do with aspergers!

It's my son's impulsiveness that is probably of most concern together with his lack of social skills. I get worried that one day he will do something that ends up in someone getting badly hurt (or hurting himself badly). Not sure what we can do to curb that though.
It's more that the comments are quite strange, but sometimes so strange its funny. He's a lot less stressed now so a lot of the behaviours are much less noticeable.
School are going to put him on the transition programe, so he gets to visit it a few times and talk about worries etc, not that he'll talk but hey ho!
It's actually much easier and calmer doing it on my own, everything's a little more consistent.
I was just about to put impulsiveness isn't a problem as he over thinks things but that in itself is a problem...we had a run in with some travellers at the park because he couldnt let something drop, he couldn't just keep quiet, ha ha! Impulsiveness is a really one to control because obviously, lol, it comes out of nowhere!
Hi, I'd just like to say that, in terms of personal experience with this, in describing your son you've basically described me as well. I am 19 years old, and I was EXACTLY like that as a child, and remain much the same way now. I was only diagnosed this year with high functioning Asperger's, and I'm glad I finally have been. It means I can now reason why I feel like the world has always been so mean to me, and it's made me realise that I am different, but that it's not necessarily a bad thing. I am very glad I've happened upon this, and all of your responses concerning it.

As someone who's mother seems unable to grapple with the fact that I have Asperger's, and someone who's mother thinks that psychiatry is on the same level as psychics, I'd like to ask a couple of things of you though.

I'm not sure if your son exhibits these behaviours or not, but since as much as I have read of him has been so similar to me, I suspect he may.
If he forgets tiny social niceties such as saying thank you, or saying hi to someone new, or saying please for something, or making eye contact, or those sorts of things, please don't keep grudges for him doing so. I can no longer stand to live at home, because that is exactly what my mother and her boyfriend do. They are unable to comprehend that I do not mean to be rude, it just happens, I try my best not to be, but they can't overlook the few times I fail, because it simply is not intuitive to me.

Also, when he goes to university, keep a close eye on him if he lives away from home. I just did my first year at university studying physics, and failed it. Not because the work was difficult, I found it boring and easy in fact. But because I struggled so deeply with making new social relationships with people, and felt again absurdly frustrated at failing at every single hurdle when it came to making friends. Next year, thanks to a diagnosis, I will have a government funded mentor to speak to each week, to help me overcome these problems, who I can talk to and get advice on how to deal with people from. So, when your son goes to university, keep a close eye on him, see if you can get some sort of similar arrangement. Everyone is different, yes, but there is a very real chance he will experience the same issues that I have.

May I also point you towards this webpage: http://lesswrong.com/lw/28l/do_you_have_highfunctioning_aspergers_syndrome/

And this song(yes there is swearing but it's rap, that's to be expected. It's the message in it that's important.):

It made me cry a lot yesterday. I don't need to be forgiven for being me. And neither does your son.

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