I don't actually come from Tunbridge Wells, or even profess to know for sure where it is, but I am disgusted. For someone who is broad minded, liberal blah di blah, there are things in this world that have just gone too far. Too far I say.
Quite so - time to return to traditional Tunbridge Wellsian values - golf, labradors, Roast Beef on Sunday and sex only on the third Saturday of each month (in total darkness obviously).
I'm disgusted of having visited Tunbridge Wells, does that count.
I object to these left wing, closet pinkos, bicycle-seat sniffing, liberal, muslim-loving, religious bigots cutting our toilets from the Great British High Street.
Yours Major Ivor Smelly-Gussetington-Doorjammer
69 Acacia Avenue
Kent.