A Bit Of A Moan

[gness]

Visited my mother today. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's eight years ago and we looked after her at home until eighteen months ago.
The place she is in is lovely but she is hoisted out of bed in the morning, dozes all day and is hoisted into bed at night.
When she woke up today she asked me the one same question over and over again until I could take it no more and left...now I feel guilty of course.
I have mulled over the question of euthanasia time and time again but today I could have put a pillow over her face quite easily...not for me...for her. And of course the question of what if it's me in thirty years time pops into my head....so that's my moan..because I feel guilty I suppose and now I shall open some wine and cheer myself up.
Alzheimer's is a bitch.

[gness]

Thanks LadyJ...x

[DTCwordfan]

fyi gness (and any others)

late-stage dementia patients often die of a medical complication, such as pneumonia or another infection.

Dementia itself can be fatal though with general wasting, malnutrition, and dehydration setting in and are real risks when an individual with dementia can no longer eat safely and/or move independently.

[giveup]

I Have every sympathy,my best friend had the same and she was only 60. It is so difficult to be patient all the time. Just do your best,don't feel guilty and then come on here and get it off your chest.There's always someone on here to moan to,and hopefully cheer you up.And now I'll join you in that drink.

[DTCwordfan]

and if vascular, strokes have often caused vascular dementia as a side consequence. (I had no idea of this linkage of which there is a significant probability when I set out on this explorative trip as a result of my mother's Mixed). So those with vascular can often succumb to a fatal stroke, hence the importance of getting control of blood pressure.....

[lady-janine]

you are welcome any time.xx

[DTCwordfan]

Hey, I am thinking of cracking open the wine now, but given the ginger beer is also open, it will have to be that. Is that :-)) or :-((

[Psybbo]

DT, a glass of wine, that's an order!

[gness]

Slainte Giveup....always get cheered up here...rarely get down but I think it's the frustration more than anything. x

DT. Thank you. Her dementia is not vascular and she has always been incredibly fit...never in all my years have I know her even have a cold. i guess that's going against her now.

[gness]

Oh DT....Have the sodding wine.....life is short enough...enjoy it! Gness with the axe is ordering you....x

[shoota]

It's enough to turn your hair grey.....

[Psybbo]

Shoota, that hair is charcoal, the in colour

[gness]

Helloooo Shoota. Indeed it is. x

[parkie]

gness. You say, in effect, that there is not much love lost between you, but if that was really the case, you would not be feeling guilty.
I went to a funeral today where the deceased, an 87 year old woman, was a real so-and-so towards her family over the years and yet all three of her 'children', all in their sixties, were in tears. (She was not related to me).
You only have one mum and we cannot get away from that.
All you can do is have that wine, relax and prepare yourself for the next visit.

[parkie]

Sorry gness. I think I misread your thread about your relationship with mum. I do apologise.

[hc4361]

Shockingly horrid, cruel disease that afflicts relatives, friends and loved ones more than the sufferer.
I pray a cure or relief is found soon.

Gness, you're doing good, all things considered. A big hug for you.

[gness]

Thanks hc.....don't know about doing good but the hug is nice. x

Hi Parkdale...don't think you misread....we have never liked each other and she has always been particularly bad to me but the responsibility for her would be on my brother if I didn't do my share.
I think I feel guilty because I do it out of duty and not love but I still hate to see what she has become.......and the other people in her home.....mind you she still comes out of the fog now and again to have a snap at me.... :-)