How Do You Split Yourself Between Two (Or More) Children

[bednobs]

My daughter is coming up for a year old, I would like to have another baby as my family doesn't feel complete. How on earth do those of you who have more than 1 manage to split your time and emotions between more than 1 child? is it as exhausting as it feels like it's going to be?

[bednobs]

i completely agree 2sp - my mum still says "after william ......." and can't bring herself to say "died" at the end of that sentence. My dad sent me a picture of my nana "with all her great grandchildren" and i was shouting at the email "but not william or Heather".
to be fair, my poor friends and family can't get anything rightbecause whatever they say or don't say about them it angers me. It's not them, it's me

[bednobs]

i think he is protecting me and himself from more unbearable pain

[sherrardk]

It's probably them and you, x

[ummmm]

It's still early days really. There will, one day, be a time when it doesn't anger you.

[ummmm]

That's completely understandable.

[2sp_]

I don't think it is you, or even them for that matter. It's the horrible, unfair, cruel situation.

xx

[anneasquith]

id say you have a difficult decision,as both william and heather were so premature, and phoebe was also early.the fear of losing another baby must be awful for you both, but i do feel it would be sad if you miss the opportunity of another pregnamcy, as to how you will cope, very well :}

[numnum]

I've found it very difficult to spend time with my oldest. theres 18 months between. I've found it difficult because my youngest has been a hyper, interfeering, climbing, violent and really needed watching all the time when he was on the move because of his interfeering then the violence started so my whole day was taken up dealing with him

I constantly tried to bake, paint, walks days out etc but started to realise that he was ruining everything and it was affecting her. I then just gave up trying to do anything as it was just a shame on her.

What we do is take them out seperate for now so it doesn't ruin it for her and just really have to work round it the best we can till our little man calms down

You do just deal with it at the time. I even wish we'd had ours closer together

[DaisyNonna]

numnum He won't calm down on his own . You need help. Now.

[grasscarp]

I enjoyed having two children. You do manage and after a while they play together though not always harmoniously and you spend years trying to separate them. They definitely appreciate each other now they are grown up and I am glad I did not just have the one.

[DTCwordfan]

You naturally slot into it, bednobs - it depends on the baby of course, also how much time your O/H can give and age difference between 1 and 2.

When at home, I tended to do the bathing and all the bed time reading in the week days. Weekends I would cook (as I enjoyed it). An important aspect was giving the ex time off, Wed evenings would be her thing for movies which she loved (or family on her side) and Sunday afternoons, with me having Sunday morning for a game of flog. Number one would also come food shopping with me, which she enjoyed as she loves to bake, also we would have a hot choc for her coffee for me.....so that gave her some additional time from me too, never mind all the sports she was involved in - and art together.

[tiggerblue10]

I've often thought about how I would feel if I fell pregnant again. My feelings for Little Tiggs are so strong that I don't know if I could split them, however, if it did ever happen I would probably just do it without thinking about it.

I always seem to hear about how some parents have their favourites from friends of mine and my friends have always said that they were not the favourite and that their parents treated them differently to their siblings.

[numnum]

thanks daisynonna - he has been getting help. He's been going to a nursery for about 6 months now that is specifically for challenging children and there is only 3 in his class. Its only one hour a week but I think its what he's needed since about the age of 7 months. I've always thought he needs to be around other kids without me being there and it seems to have helped him

He started playgroup at the end of October and I have definately seen a huge different in him. Hes that happy when he goes in and happy to see me when I pick him up. He's now starting to cuddle into us which he never done before and I've always thought that was a big issue with him. He starts proper nursery at the school after Easter and I think he will progress even more.

They will keep an eye on him till school age to see if any of his odd behaviours stop but at the moment I think the nursery he goes to once a week would be happy for him to stop but I'm wanting to keep him there till he starts the proper nursery at the school.

Sorry for hijacking your thread bednobs just wanted to update