AB Lonely Hearts Adverts

mrs_overall | 12:08 Fri 16th Nov 2012 | ChatterBank

31 Answers

Gentleman of a certain age seeks female Daily Mail reader. Must have own highlighter pen.

Male, Mafioso lookalike with own hair and some teeth, seeks lady who enjoys outings on a moped.

Slightly unethical business lady seeks male for friendship. Must have an interest in all things nautical (mainly pedalloes).

Lady wrestler with homely features seeks male of any age who is still drawing breath. Must have own teeth, all four limbs and be able to eat without drooling. (I am willing to compromise on the teeth and limbs.)

Vertically challenged lady with own wetroom seeks gentleman friend to add to portfolio. Must be under 5ft tall and be able to lift heavy postal sacks.

Successful businessman with own plumbing empire, Brad Pitt lookalike, snappy dresser with sparkling personality and own luxury transport seeks lady for no strings fun. (No goat keepers need apply)

Part time butler and crossword expert seeks lady for friendship, maybe more. Must have own coat.

Impoverished genteel titled lady seeks rich gentleman to provide her with the finer things in life and whisk her away from the charity shop.

Lady of Irish origin, enjoys an occasional drink, seeks gentleman friend. Must have own disaster insurance policy in force.

James Bond

Sir Alec

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parkie

Welcome back Mrs O. Thought you'd retired to a goat farm somewhere.

DTCwordfan

Hi mrs O welcome back.

We repeat our Mantra
And force down the lump in our throats
As we look at Mrs Overall
Marigolds crumpled on our floors,
And wish they would lie there
Forever

tonyav

Thats a nice looking flock you have there DT !.

Kiki-frog

Mrs O, you have been greatly missed, welcome back to the fold. Which makes you sound a bit like one of DT's flock.

DTCwordfan

That was because of the sheep shagging ode yesterday, tony......

gness

Ahhh Tony.....That's not one of your chat up lines is it? x

Mammar

I read this title and thought "this is the thread for me!"
Scanned through but didn't see one from a "distinguished gentleman with time on his hands looking for a lady to spoil. Willing to do the cooking, cleaning, decorating and pull up weeds. Very short-sighted"
I live in hope