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Sibton's Story
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Sibton was born in a quiet corner of Ireland to parents of mixed race. Her mother was an itinerant peat cutter and her father was a Leprachaun. At the time of her birth her father was away from home on business (interfering with fairies rings) and her mother decided to send him a telegram. After much deliberation she composed the line - She Is Born- Things Orl Normal and then nearly fainted when she learned it cost a shilling a word to send. She promptly abbrieviated the telegram to the initials S.I.B.T.O.N. Her father assumed that was the name chosen for the baby and it stuck.
Sibton had human features (apart from her father's pointy ears and lack of height). She had bright ginger hair, pale skin and hated the sun. She occasionally showed flashes of her paternal inheritance and her first words were Diddle de Dee, Diddle de Dee.
She left school with qualifications in Advanced Peat Cutting, Toadstool Management, Potato Blight Identification, Pillion Riding and Shillelagh Carving. Unwilling to join the family peat cutting business she subscribed to several English newspapers and scoured the job columns. Having been made to attend Irish dancing classes as a child her eye was drawn to an advert for Lap Dancers. She figured that she was a reasonable dancer and the cold climate of Lapland would suit her just fine.
She travelled across the water to England and duly arrived at the interview venue. It must be pointed out for the benefit of readers that Sibton was gullible and never queried why an interview for a job at the North pole would be held in a pub in the quiet English village of Answerbank Under the Wold. The recruiter, who was really a pimp, took one look at Sibton, and being gingerist he dismissed her out of hand.
Sibton decided to stay in the area and tried living on her wits, which meant she quickly came close to starvation. She was taken under the wing of several kind villagers who gave her odd jobs and the local supermodel, philanthropist and all round good egg provided her with a roof over her head. Her saving grace came when a local witch opened a holistic centre (and owl sanctuary) and Sibton discovered that she had a real talent for administering the colonic irrigations. This was partly due to her lack of height which meant she was at eye level with the necessary parts. She finally felt settled and the only thing missing from her life was male company. After talking to a happy (if somewhat strange) couple in the pub who had met through the Desperado Dating Agency, she took the plunge and submitted and application form. She quickly received a reply and was surprised to learn she had a date.
Sibton had human features (apart from her father's pointy ears and lack of height). She had bright ginger hair, pale skin and hated the sun. She occasionally showed flashes of her paternal inheritance and her first words were Diddle de Dee, Diddle de Dee.
She left school with qualifications in Advanced Peat Cutting, Toadstool Management, Potato Blight Identification, Pillion Riding and Shillelagh Carving. Unwilling to join the family peat cutting business she subscribed to several English newspapers and scoured the job columns. Having been made to attend Irish dancing classes as a child her eye was drawn to an advert for Lap Dancers. She figured that she was a reasonable dancer and the cold climate of Lapland would suit her just fine.
She travelled across the water to England and duly arrived at the interview venue. It must be pointed out for the benefit of readers that Sibton was gullible and never queried why an interview for a job at the North pole would be held in a pub in the quiet English village of Answerbank Under the Wold. The recruiter, who was really a pimp, took one look at Sibton, and being gingerist he dismissed her out of hand.
Sibton decided to stay in the area and tried living on her wits, which meant she quickly came close to starvation. She was taken under the wing of several kind villagers who gave her odd jobs and the local supermodel, philanthropist and all round good egg provided her with a roof over her head. Her saving grace came when a local witch opened a holistic centre (and owl sanctuary) and Sibton discovered that she had a real talent for administering the colonic irrigations. This was partly due to her lack of height which meant she was at eye level with the necessary parts. She finally felt settled and the only thing missing from her life was male company. After talking to a happy (if somewhat strange) couple in the pub who had met through the Desperado Dating Agency, she took the plunge and submitted and application form. She quickly received a reply and was surprised to learn she had a date.
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