tired and over emotional, need to vent

[suagrtits]

i am over tired and over emotional and just want someone else's perspective on this matter, its something thats really bugging me and i want to speak up but at the same time i thinking am i over reacting and being silly over it. Basically me and my partner lost a friend to a heart attack recently and straight away i decided to do a collection for his wife and children as we are all good friends and my heart really went out to her, plus rather than seeing loads being spent on flowers i felt it would go to better use if we all gave money to the family. Anyway ive managed to raise a good couple of hundred pounds so far and there is more to collect too which im absolutely thrilled about. Only now i feel like im getting rail- roaded, ive spent alot of time and effort getting this sorted and i was told yesterday by my boyfriend that when im finished with collection i should hand it to another person and she will take it over to her instead of me as she has been friends with this person longer than i have! Am i wrong to be thinking 'hang on a minute'. Im not doing this for praise or anything but this was my idea, ive done the donkey work and i would like to be the one to give it to her, i want to be the one to see her face when she see's how much people have thought and gererously given to her and her family. Its really winding me up, i want to say something but i dont want to be a brat and i dont want to start a argument either. do i bite my tongue or risk sounding like a brat, like i said i could be reading too much into it really so would apprieciate feedback, thanks

[jno]

what's your boyfriend got to do with this, exactly? Why would he make such an odd suggestion?

[islasmum]

Stuff the boyfriend, you did the work, you should be the one to give her the money and well done for being such a nice friend.

[suagrtits]

it was his best friend that died, obviously i knew him too as weve been together a long time, i also got on really well with his wife which is why i wanted to do something to help. He thinks it will be more appropriate if it came from this other woman as they were all school friends and grew up together. After having it out with him this morning he said he didnt realise it would be such a big deal and didnt realise i would be so upset about it. TBH though i dont really think he cares too much as he has bigger things going on in his head at the moment. Weve just got back from the cemetry now and im starting to back down, there are bigger things going on at this time. Still feel so angry though. ;-(

[friedgreentomato]

At the end of the day I don't think it matters who hands over the collection - what matters is the family.

I would be dignified and let them fight it out amongst themselves.

[suagrtits]

im angry with her because i think ''what kind of person lets someone else do all the work and then sit back and take credit? '' but if im completely honest im more angry at my partner for not having my back on this

[pastafreak]

Stand your ground. You did the work,put the effort in,it was your idea. So-it's definitely your right to hand the funds over. This has nothing to do with who knew whom for longer. Your BF is not looking at this logically,and he should be proud of what you have done.

[Smowball]

Agree with the others - you collected it and so you should hand it over. if for no other reason then to check that she gets all the money that you collected. if anybody else hands it over then how do you know she will get the full amount?