Caring for the Elderly

[emmie]

There is a Panorama programme on this evening i believe, about caring for the elderly. More importantly the uncaring, often hostile environments many elderly seem to live out their days, I have just finished reading
the woman's story of her mother, who was physically abused in one care home. I won't be watching the programme, but why is it that there are not more checks on these homes. The daughter secretly put a surveillance camera in the room and was shocked to her core at what she witnessed.
The man concerned has gone to jail, but how many more like this, and what can ordinary people do to make them safer for their nearest and dearest.
I have a relative in a care home and know that he has suffered at the hands of his so called carers, and the police have had to be involved

[emmie]

i agree with that last statement, for profit, the fees are astronomical..

[ladyalex]

I agree with you that Carers in homes have a rough deal, Bambiboo. My experience of them has been generally very positive and I would certainly never tar them all with the same brush as those seen on the Panorama programmes.

If you had ever looked after an elderly relative at home, I do not think you
would wonder why people did not.


Getting a week or if you were really lucky a fornight's repite care a year is not really much of a service when you are on duty 24/7 the rest of the time.

[emmie]

i had a spell of looking after someone, and believe me i couldn't cope after a time.

[bambiboo78]

I agree ladyalex carers do get to go home
I can imagine how difficult it is living with somebody with dementia 24/7 it is a task that I just couldn't contemplate

[tinkerbell23]

Ive seen less than pleasant nurses and carers....

But ive also seen so many more nice ones who really do carr but they ARE over worked and underpaid.

I found care of the elderly very difficult at one point- but boy did i learn- and i enjoy listening to their stories and what they worked as and i manage to squeeze some time to dish out a few "manicures" tong some hair etc.... (oh with consent of course!!!!!) and hold a few hands... sadly i dot think ill get the chance as much now im qualified.

Anynone who is caught doing wrong should be severley punished. If it was my gran or granda i wouldnt be responsible for my actions and i bear tthat in mind when i am at work.

I didnt see the prog... I might watch. Not sure xxx

[chaptazbru]

If ever my Mum or Dad have to go into a care home, I'm moving in with them so no-one can hurt them !!! tinkerbell, I too wouldn't be responsible for my actions if anyone hurt my beloved parents.

[naomi24]

Can't bear to watch anything like that, em. If only all the carers were like our own Ratter - but sadly they are not - and that's a sad indictment of the quality of care that elderly people in a so-called civilised country can expect. It sickens me - it really does.

[emmie]

naomi, me too, and i agree there are good ones out there, but those i have come across were not, and one has to think that this could be you or I in a few years time. And that makes me feel wretched, knowing that one could be harmed by someone and no one knows about it. Like this woman's mum, she couldn't speak up and so the abuse continued.

[ummmm]

I always feel slightly disgusted when I go and visit my grandparents. The visitors book is mainly filled with my family or professionals. Why don't people visit their elderly relatives? Bad care workers would be less inclined to abuse someone who had a supportive family.

ps I know we're lucky there's lot's of us.

[DTCwordfan]

There's going to be more and more of this as the aging of the population increases, the number of dementia goes up, etc...throw in lack of training, lack of wages, lack of motivation, the tensions and frustrations build up and "bang" - There has to be a major overhaul of the system and one of the encouragements should be, but won't, a significant increase in carer allowances to encourage families to keep their loved ones at home - even if it is only for an extra year or two or three.

We do it out of choice and have been working to keep my mater in her own house as long as poss. Believe me it is not easy and seriously tests your own patience and sanity at times....

[emmie]

my family have been lied to about a relative, about how happy they are, settled and so forth, then we got a call that put a lie to that. The sad thing is none of us are able to have this person at home because of the nature of his illness, so we are guilt ridden all our days. Visiting is one thing, and you are right that many do not.

[ummmm]

We tried it with my Nan DT....my Mum ended up putting her in a home behind my Grandads back. That didn't go down well!!! It was too dangerous though. He still expected her to be the dutiful wife and would send her on errands. She'd forget what she was out for and go to the pub.

I had phone calls informing me my Nan was a bit pissed, so I'd have to go pick her up.

Bless her beautiful heart. She only got drunk because she'd never remember how much she'd drank. (ex publican)

I must say....My Nan is a very loving person. The staff at her care home kiss her, cuddle her, sit and hold her hand. Absolutely no complaints about them. She's a busy bee...so they give her jobs to do.

[emmie]

DT, tensions should not build up, they are paid to do a job, i agree the pay is low, they should not be in these roles at all if they have issues. After all if you saw someone hit an elderly person on the street one would hope you would go and help. This is no different. Perhaps the only thing one could do is put surveillance cameras in all these homes, drastic but maybe then you wouldn't get carers abusing their position. I am also aware that abuse can happen to them in their own homes, from unkind, uncaring relatives, and that can't be monitored except by social services, and only if another family member notices bruising, or unusual marks etc.
Very difficult situation all round

[ummmm]

The man who was prisoned for abuse was a qualified nurse. He wouldn't have been on minimum wage!!

[emmie]

i would have jailed him for a lot longer, perhaps then some who really don't care, or are abusive will have second thoughts.