im feeling so crap today, need cheering up..anyone done anything fun today, got a great joke to tell, or come across a funny situation, please tell me, it might cheer me up. thanks
I was at the Zoo and saw a bear.
He was very friendly and then suddenly turned and slapped me.
I said to the zoo keeper why did that happen ?
He said he was a Bipolar Bear.
AB has cheered me up tonight, what with Mick not "giving a toss" about pancake day and Barb reminding me earlier that calories are the creatures who hide in the wardobe and sew your clothes up to make them a little tighter!
How about this from my 10 year old last night -
Son: "Mum, I think it would be cool to just have one ear"
Me: "what if you need glasses?"
Son: ".........I'm thinking Monocle"
me to little f, 'put those socks in the washing the washing machine please'
Turn around 2 minutes later only to find her legs sticking out the washing machine!
Away for a short break last week and we were at the kids' disco. The host was asking the kids where they were from and when she got to thing 1 (nearly four) my heart sunk (she is a bit 'wild') and thing 1 said loudly (over a microphone) that she came from her mum and dad (the rest of us pretended we didn't know her). (She also recently walked past a beggar in the subway and said (very loudly) 'yeuch, nasty' (again, we pretended not to know her).)
I was out and received a phone call from my 16 year old daughter. She is academically gifted but has no common sense. Her question was:
"Muuu-uum, how do you cut up a leek?"