Why would my ex want to meet up?

[lourules]

Me and my ex split up last June. We had been together for 5 years. He told my friends when they ever mentioned me that he didnt want to know about me as it upset him. Anyways, i have some of his stuff still and i texted him to say i have it and shall i post it to him? He said why not meet up for a meal and i can hand it over and we can catch up?
I said ok and that day was meant to be today. I ended up getting caught at work late so couldnt make it. I texted him to say it was probably for the best we didnt meet up anyways. When he asked why i said "because i still love you"
He said "well. its up to you. i dont want to complicate things for you. but i dont want to never see you again" So i said i would meet up tonight for a drink later on. He said he was too busy himself so i said "ah lets just leave it, ill mail your items and have a nice life" I wasnt being funny. Just to the point.
He messaged me back saying "dont be like that, come out thursday for a meal im free all day?"

I dont get why he wants to meet for a meal? Surely if he just wanted his items back we'd just meet in a carpark and that would be that. Why does he want to catch up? Surely if he still felt something for me still he would have told me by now? Im so confused....

[EvianBaby]

You would be surprised.

[boxtops]

Why not? sometimes one has to lie, for self-preservation. He's enjoying all this, it's wonderful to have someone missing you when you've gone off and made a new life. He was too busy for a drink and gave you a second-best date to go out. He doesn't want his stuff back - as long as you have, he's got a reason to keep in touch.
Stuff it in a box and when you meet, give it to him, and drive off. No drink, no meal. IMO.

[boxtops]

I think mickrog has hit the nail on the head. You may have lived with him for 5 years, but that was then.

[mickrog]

if you are home before the milkman hes ok....if not......lol

[China Doll]

He probably just wants rudies. Just mail him his stuff and cut him off. If it's more than that he'll let you know.

[pizza]

mm sites gone quiet does the fun o on ??

[karenmac60]

Maybe he just misses you. Doesn't mean he wants to use you and doesn't mean he wants you back, but you were together 5 years.

[puddle-duck]

We can all sit here & analyze why he is doing what he is doing. The only person who truly knows the answer is him. Would he give you an honest reply if you were to ask?

You need to get his belongings back to him, that's a must. As long as you still have his stuff, he still has an excuse for contacting you.

I would agree to meet up with him not for a meal or even a drink, but just arrange to meet with him so you can pass on his stuff.

Tell him that you respect his decision to end the relationship, you don't agree with it but you respect the way he feels. Ask him not to contact you in the future unless he is looking for reconciliation.

What you are doing here is being honest. Mind games etc don't work, all that they achieve is pushing someone further away from you. You're making it clear how you feel, but your also making it clear that you aren't prepared to accept breadcrumbs. It's the whole loaf or nothing.

I'm a member of a relationship forum & I see this over & over again how people are hindered in their healing & moving on process because their ex is constantly getting in touch with them with nothing more than mere breadcrumbs. It's selfish & cruel.

Once you've met with him I would advice you to go NC (no contact). NC isn't a means for getting your ex back, it's for YOU, it gives you the space you need to heal & move on. If your ex doesn't want to get back with you, then hopefully he'll respect your decision & give you the space you need to heal & move on.