mens roles with the kids...

[joko]

why, when referring to men looking after the babies/kids, is it often seen as 'helping out', as though they are merely lending a helping hand to the mother, or just 'doing a bit to take the weight off'...?
rather than doing their fair share...

isnt it time it was recognised and acknowledged that men have an equal role and equal responsibity to childcare, and their role is as partner, not assistant or helper...

i know its just words, but still, it kind of gives the idea that its nothing to do with them...
is this possibly subconsciously why so many men are crap at child rearing and just sit back with the idea that its 'womens work' and that they only have to step in when its really hard, or only do the little traditionally 'mens' jobs like, carrying them up to bed, giving them lifts, painting their room, cleaning poo off their shoes, filling the paddling pool etc etc...

[joko]

I've just had nytol.

By the way, you claim I went there to get a fight... But I told you I didn't want one with you an refused to get into one with you... Hardly sounds like fighting talk...

As for condensing... Yeh maybe... But all that would happen is I'd end up writing loads of seperate posts to properly explain, instead of 1 longer one... So no point...

[Arksided]

hope that your OK... Joko :-)

[joko]

aw im fine arksided, its no skin off my nose really... i know people like to imply im upset or foaming at the mouth, but im not at all...it just words...i type fast, takes a few seconds to reply ...these rows dont affect my life ...

but thanks for your concern.

[ummmm]

Joko - But surely it all depends on the people you know.

<isnt it time it was recognised and acknowledged that men have an equal role and equal responsibity to childcare, and their role is as partner, not assistant or helper...>

In many cases they do. That is how it is for most of the people I know. As partners you work your time around what suits. In many cases it falls to the woman as she is more likely to work less hours. When the father gets home he does things like bathtime, not to help out, but to spend some time on his own with his children. This might be the only chance he gets in the day to spend time with them.

[Ankou]

i get a bit of playtime and a bit of reading. the children are usually bathed by the time i get home - mrs kou is not employed. they prefer mummy to take them up to bed and we take turns at reading the bedtime story- sometimes they want mummy, sometimes daddy.

i don't really see my input as 'helping out' although our parenting roles do seem to have fallen into the traditional gender stereotype that you posted in your op without any conscious thinking around it. its just me being dad.