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Is it just waiting Game

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Boobars | 13:53 Wed 08th Jun 2011 | Family & Relationships
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My son phoned me from his dads to come and collect him which I did he was very upset and said that his dad had been pushing him saying you dont respect me, my son did say they had had an arguement about a laptop and had asked him to leave him alone, he said that daddy didnt he kept pushing him.

He walked with his feet nearly a year ago my son and lives his choice half time with his dad and me, my question is how do I get my son to realise that this behaviour from his dad is not acceptable and is in fact illegal ( I think).

He needs to make it his own decision as I dont want it to back fire and he think I trying to stop him seeing his dad. is there any thing I can do or is it what I think be there when he calls listen and give support and hope he comes to his senses and realise that he doesnt have to stay he can change his mind and come home when he wants myself and my partner will support him with his decission.

Just need to air and see if their is anything that can be done my son is 12 nearly 13
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nothing you can do, he'll ahve to come to his own decision.
If this was a one off it may actually be best to let your son and his dad resolve matters between themselves and not make a mountain out of a molehill.

First of all it is perfectly normal for parents and children to have disagreements. There is a very fine line between "reasonable chastisement" (which is a defence in law) and the criminal offence of assault. All parents upset their children sometimes. Saying `no' and managing difficult behaviour is an essential part of parenting. Tired or stressed parents can lose control and can do or say something they regret, and may even hurt the child. If this happens often enough, it can seriously harm the child. That is why abuse is defined in law. The Children Act 1989 states that abuse should be considered to have happened when someone's actions have caused a child to suffer significant harm to their health or development.

Secondly, you weren't there and only have your son's version of events which could be exaggerated. You could be making a rod for your own back if your son thinks it is OK to rush off to the other parent when there are disagreements and he doesn't get his own way. Children need to learn about reconciliation otherwise they will have difficulties leading to dysfunctional relationships in adulthood. Sometimes children unwittingly contribute to disputes between separated parents. See;

http://www.mediate.com/articles/saposnekD4.cfm

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