sent with no shoes

mollykins | 10:52 Sun 31st Oct 2010 | Family & Relationships

78 Answers

We were on skype to my brother last night and he said that often when he goes to pick his three year old daughter up from his ex-partners house, she is sending her out with less and less stuff.

Before, she was fully clothed (although they often looked like pyjamas!), with a coat and shoes but no overnight stuff ie definate pyjamas or toilettries! Which we thought was bad enough. But now my brother is saying she is often sent outside to him, without a coat or shoes on!

He isn't keeping her stuff, infact it's the otherway round, a few times (although he's stopped) he's had to put her in clean clothes the next day plus send her back with the dirty ones from yesterday else her mum would flip, saying he was stealing. the clean clothes of which, he never gets back.

What can he do.

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ummmm

I'm not condoning blatant nasty posts aimed at her. But you can't blame people for getting annoyed when she doesn't listen to the answers or makes loads of excuses.

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pastafreak

If he is paying £1,000 in maintenance,he probably can't afford a dryer.

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Barmaid

The chap was working on a rig as I understand it, therefore he is likely to have a significant income. The CSA will charge 20% of his net income (after tax) per month, this will reduce slightly if Mum has another child. Therefore, £1,000 per month in my view is not excessive given I know what sort of salaries get paid on the rigs.

And I've seen first hand how a woman will use her children to have a go at a non resident parent. I've seen children being sent without coats, shoes that are totally inappropriate or have holed right through, trousers with gaping holes in them, frayed hems etc. Talking to the ex won't work (tried that). The easiest way to deal with it as I have learned is to simply ignore it and rise above it as Vibra said. It is done to "press buttons". As has been said, buy the child appropriate clothing so that she is always warm and comfortable and don't sink to her level.

This actually mirrors some of the stuff I have on a daily basis with my FH so I have incredible sympathy with the brother. I still cannot understand how a mother can treat a child in this way despite seeing it first hand.

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AB Editor

Afternoon. Sorry to be late to this everyone (and B00 in particular):

Read this: http://www.theanswerb...k/Question952450.html

If you don't have an answer for the question, don't answer. Very simple.

If you can't read Molly's threads without saying something nasty I suggest you don't read them to begin with.

All the best,

Spare Ed

pastafreak

"
Charity-
If I was 'Mollykins' I would feel that I was being bullied. I think she does really well to ignore it. Why should the victim have to change their behaviour? This is the real world, it's real bullying. "
Too true....
Unfortunately-too many people forget that we ARE all real behind the 'pixels',and feel that what they may say has no repercussions-when in reality it does. If we all kept in mind that the other posters are real-then maybe we'd be a bit more tolerant.

mollykins

Question Author

Thanks vibra, ed and barmaid.

He's not going to sink to her level, especially seeing as it would involve bringing discomfort to my neice and like I said, it seems as if the coruts are begining to see through her.