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Crazy girlfriend

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acw | 10:39 Wed 04th May 2005 | Body & Soul
19 Answers

Wasn't sure where to post this - I hope I'm in the right place!

My friend went out last week and got very drunk and left the club before his girlfriend.  She called him on his mobile and he answered to say he was too drunk and was falling asleep in his bed.  She insisted he came outside of his student block to PROVE that he was at home.  He didn't (can't say why, he just didn't).  But he had already assured he that he was safe and just very very tired.  She then 'miss called' him constantly, racking up about 43 calls in an hour and then more regular calls throughout the night and started again first thing in the morning.

 

Does anyone think this might be a tad excessive.  Guys - if your girl did this, how would you react?  Girls - do you now feel totally sane relative to that girl? :-)

 

I know this is a petty subject and there are bigger things in life to worry about.  I'm just interested in opinions. 

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I have to admit that myself and every single one of my friends have all had moments of madness like that.  They are generally born out of not trusting your boyfriend.  either she is insecure or he has given her good reason to not trust him. 

However drunk he was, why did he not tell his girlfriend that he was leaving the club and going home? If he left without saying anything she would have thought that he'd left with someone else - hence the mad crazy phone calls!

 

We're only as crazy as you make us lol !!

If the person I had gone out with left without telling me and without checking I would not be happy. Especially if we were meant to be travelling home together. For security reasons a lot of people don't like travelling alone late at night.

If sober I would want to tell that person I felt let down by their doing this and ask them not to do it again but to stick to plans we had made or at the least let me know if these plans were being changed. If drunk it might seem a good idea to phone them there and then to tell them.

I would not however call more than once. Certainly not 43 times in an hour. Absolutely not continue calling when 1, it was clear that they didn't want to talk and 2, in the morning when I was sober.

This behaviour is strange and not something I would accept in my partner (the phrase bunny boiler does not just apply to women you know - the vast majority of stalkers etc are male)

She has a legitimate reason for being upset - being left at the club with no explanation - but her behaviour is disproportionate and frankly disturbing.

I agree with Englishbird, why did he leave the pub without saying goodbye in the first place?  I'd be pretty p*ssed if my fella did that to me.  Though I don't think I'd have the energy or the wherewithal to sit up all night pranking him.
Agree with Lillabet too!
It sounds like this girl has a trust issue.  Has he ever done anything to warrant this?  If not, he needs to have a word with her
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Few things - I'm a girl Englishbird.  In fact - I'm an english bird too!!!

 

Second - she went with mates, he went with mates.  I'm not sure whether he told her he was leaving or not.  The club they were in is a crazy place where it can easily take an hour to find someone - most of us just leave, then text our friends to say we're safe.  The girl's safety was not an issue.  As I said, he spoke to her later, and they cleared up the issue of him leaving - so it wasn't about that!

 

Say he WAS with someone else.  Wouldn't she realise that?  I mean if I called my fella and he didn't want to talk, I would realise that calling 43 times would just p*ss him off because, either he's where he said he was in which case i'd look like a psycho, OR, he's cheating on her, in which case 43 miss calls are not going to change his mind!

URL don't work, use this:

http://tinyurl.com/d2rnf 

and go to 'women'

I have to argee with english bird, If my boyfriend left me in a club without letting me know, i would be very angry, but still would not call that many times, I would deal with it the next day.
It was wrong of your friend to leave without saying anything, it does appear she has a complex however. I would advise your friend to talk to her to iron out any doubts or insecurities she may have regarding their relationship!
acw, i have to agree with you. 43 times in one hour is ridculous. At the end of the day whatever wrong this fella did in his girlfriends eyes that is no excuse to hound him like that. She needs to chill out. I wouldn't dream of behaving like that to my boyfriend, 1. cos i don't own him and 2. cos its mental

 

Yes and no. She has a right to be angry because he left withuot telling her. But to call 43 times is a little excessive - maybe twice or thrice is OK!!

Can I just ask you something acw?  Your friend, was he with YOU that night?  Is that why his girlfriend has annoyed you? 

I do agree that calling 43 times is a little pocessive and rather freaky.....but I can understand her frustration with him leaving and not saying anything.

i wonder if he was maybe flirting with another girl and his gf saw him. the next thing she knows he has left the club. she may have a good reason for being suspicious. but i agree that calling 43 times in an hour is over the top.
butter 1  i was just thinking the same thing! as u seem a wee bit overly annoyed and bothered.

Mmmm... if you are then watch out cos if she's prepared to sit up all night doing that, think of what else she's willing to do!

Having caught an ex boyfriend a few years back I can see how she did it though, although I didnt ring 43 times - he wouldve just turned the phone off anyway - I just waited until the next day and punched him on the nose!! Tee Hee!  Its a horrible feeling, she definately thought he was up to something and probably had reason to so in one way she could be seen as "insane" and in other's eyes "normal" .....

Question Author

Firstly - thank you for all your responses.  Your opinions are very interesting, and largely what I was thinking! :-)

As I said in my additional post, I'm not actually sure if he left without telling her, and they ironed all that out anyway. 

 

I'm really not annoyed by her.  It did my head in at the time, but I'm not annoyed about it at all.  If I appear irritated, that's my fault for wording things badly.  Also, if you look, I only said he left before his girlfriend, not without telling her. 

 

I'd rather leave it hypothetical to be honest.  The query really was just about "43 miss calls in one hour... disucss!!!"  Moreover, there's no point in prescribing stuff about their relationship.  Perhaps I should have given  less context. 

How would you feel if you received 43 miss(ed) calls in 1 hour?

We don't know how drunk she was.  People do daft things under the influence.  Sometimes women get either maudlin and tearful or unreasonably jealous when they've knocked back a few - and don't forget it is a known medical fact that women fare less well on drink.

Also, it does sound as though they are very young  (student block was mentioned) and it is unreasonable to expect a young single bloke OR GIRL  to behave properly all the time.  Let's hope it was a one off and they can sort it out over a coffee. Yes why didn't he turn off the phone?

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Early 20s flaming. 

And believe me - your last question occured to me too!!!

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