Want to say something :-(

[wiggal]

Ok, to cut it short!

My fella, (will call him A!) his ex cheated on him, he had been with her over 4 years, and whilst they were together she fell pregnant with someone elses baby. When he found out, she was then long gone, went off with new bloke, had her baby and got married.
I'm not a violent person, and avoid any kind of disagreement, but knowing what she did to him has always really got to me.

When they were together she worked as a hairdresser, at the shops 2 mins from our house. A would nevr even show me a picture of her, in case I bumped into her (good choice!)! But now, she has come back to work at the hairdressers 2 minutes away!

It was bad enough moving into the house she lived in and was her 'home' but now it just winds me up that she has come back!
A has said that she wouldnt even dare speak to him down the shops (we go there everyday after work), but I just cant stand knowing that some one who screwed him over and hurt him so much is literally just down the road, and I cant even 'bump' into her!

I'm thinking I'm justa twisted head case of a girlfriend, but I feel she is far too close in my 'comfort zone'!

Pfft!

[China Doll]

Thank you Jafi!

[wiggal]

I must admit, i think its all just down to my self confidence issues. I have always thought he was far to good for me, and for a very long time, even though I know he loves me, expected him to wake up on morning and leave me for some one better.

We have had our fair share of things with me being jealous!
The girl he was seeing when he met me was his ssters best mate, he then stopped seeing her and got with m and she loved making family occasions and parties impossible. To the point where I didnt even go with him to his sisters birthday once because she would be there, and had known the family years, and just seemed that his family would of prefered him to be with her and not me!

[Jafi]

wiggal think positive, she's in the past, you and he have got your whole future ahead of you's, be the one good thing in his life, remember you're the one who makes him laugh, smile, happy you're the one he comes home to at the end of the day, just enjoy what you have together.

[China Doll]

You know Wiggal, the more you talk, the less it sounds like the problem is with this lass. I think it's all in your head love... You obviously adore the guy but have insecurity issues about your own self worth. Having a run in with his ex isn't going to sort that.

He loves you, you love him... Stop focusing on the tripe and count your blessings, he's obviously happy with you. Don't let your own daemons interfere with that.

[Rosetta]

Wiggal,you are worth ten of his exes otherwise why would he choose to be with you.
Ok you are angry for him but clearly he has moved on and that is good . He obviously loves you (or fur balls? ??)
Let it go, girl, you will feel better when you do!!!

[Ice.Maiden]

But it's no good any of us bad-mouthing this girl, because what's happened's happened. She's certainly older by now, and probably wiser. Maybe there are a lot of us who've treated partners quite badly in the past - without realising how our actions can still be classed as awful, years later.
Don't let it bother you any more wiggal. You sound happy enough with this guy, but if you let jealousy and insecurity rear its ugly head, then you're going to be the one who loses out.

[wiggal]

Your pretty much spot on china i think!

I know he loves me, and I love him, but even after so long i just feel im not good enough for him.

I've told him many times that i feel that way, but he says im talking rubbish, and he wants to spend his life with me. We arent engaged or anything yet, as when we fies got together we made a couple of rules.

- No talk of marriage til we have been together 5 years
- No talk of kids until im atleast 25. I'm 21 atm!)

We have however talked about marriage, but no engagement, He has last weekend though bought me a �10,000 car, which on financ will be costing him �19,000 in total! So I know he is serious about me, and in a way has shown his commitment to me, but I just cant get the little things out of my head!
Like his sisters best mate nearly wrecking us, his ex coming back so close to home.

I know he loves me, we are planning to buy a house together! I just cant get it straight in my head that he is with me, and loves me.

I'm making myself sound worse and worse here arent i!?

[Jafi]

thankyou bez and china doll x

[wiggal]

Lol Rosetta!

He is very tolerant with my pets!
He had 2 cats when I met him, we now have 7 cats, 2 dogs and a hamster, and he is allergic to cats & dogs!

[Octavius]

Your energy might be better spent helping him to find better finance deals in the future, that is a shocking repayment if you ask me.

[Lakitu]

LOL Octy! My eyes went like saucers at the finance too!

wiggal, you've got to the root of the problem already, but I just want to say I hope you find some peace x

[sara3]

I must be missing something!

can't you just be smugly happy for yourselves without wanting to confront a woman from the past?

you're young, you're happy, you seem to have it all in your favour (except perhaps the crippling car repayments.. are you nuts??!), don't spoil it worrying about something that strictly isn't your business, and is ancient history.

be happy, for heaven's sake!

[wiggal]

The car payments are so high because of bad credit ratings and such! Went with the only company that would have us, hence why we are paying a small fortune!

[redcrx]

wiggal, try not to let this wind you up. he has moved on and i doubt she has started work in the area to hurt your relationship.

I can understand how you feel though Ive just found out that my partners ex wife (they split before i met him, she walked out) has been telling everyone who will listen that our kids are not my fellas. it is hurtful to us both but at the end of the day we know the truth and she cant hurt us.