money worries

[vway]

I have a wealthy husband who left myself and his 2 young children in january, he now said he will go to the csa regarding maintainance for the children and i shall get nothing else, I have been a stay at home mom for 8 years as his work was demanding he isa farmer,when i tried to go back to work it became difficult due to the children now he says I have 2 arms and legs and i will have to work,my 8 year old has long holidays 9 weeks in the summer 1 month at xmas and easter also half terms,he says he will take the time off he never has before! What am I supposed to do?

[Lil O'lady]

Get a good lawyer. if you have no income and gave up your career to care for his household you are in a strong position and will probably get legal aid.

[treborrobert]

you have been married for many years.
2 children
and he has left you ??

you need to get him for 50% of everything he has ,
home / savings / and if he is self employed half of that as well.

don't think you will get nothing cos he has money and you don't when you get it all sorted out costs will be payed for out of settlement......

as Lil o lady said . get a good lawyer and do everything threw them ...and not threw your husband.
if he tries to deal out of court..he will rip you off

you are entitled to 50% of everything

you ow it to your children

[Le Chat]

The csa was set up because there are so many men like this. They have children and yet only want to pay nothing or the bare minimum towards their lives when a couple split up.
Not wishing to add to your suffering, but the csa are a load of incompetent fools and if your husband is self employed, then they are likely to mess up/overlook payments/ not collect payments/ incorrectly calculate payments/ not pass the money on/ lose your details/pass you from department to department and generally botch it up goodstyle. I hope you do not need money to survive on anytime soon.

[bednobs]

ok, in a way i agree with him. You do have 2 arms and legs, and a lot of companies have family friendly policies ie you can work school hours. I know it may be different to what you have so far experienced but life will be different. i suppose he could just be chucking his toys out of the pram. i wonder how he would feel if he had custody?
Anyway, wont the csa take into account all of this?

[luckyforme71]

inform the CSA tomorrow the forms will be sent out to him then get a solicitor.

[banjosister]

Hey vway,

Sorry to hear about your problems :(

Why don't you look at getting a part time job at a school you should be able to claim working &child tax credits once you have a job which will help bump up your wages. Do you budget regularly?

Please dont expect the CSA to sort all this out for you. I agree with Le Chat, the csa dont know what they are doing and do not communicate with each other. It is harder if the absent parent is self employed as they cannot deduct money from their wages - they do appear to have lots of powers but seem not to want to use them.

At the end of the day your priority is the children regardless of how he wishes to behave. Just remember that the children will remember who was there to support and comfort and who was not.

Bb xx

[Mirror]

you will be getting maintenance for the children unlike some single mothers working their butts off to care for their children single handedly and hold on to a job. at least try and find a part time job.

[Ice.Maiden]

Are you still living in the farmhouse? Do you contribute to work that needs to be done around the place?
I can tell you that you ARE in a good position to receive much of what your husband has, and if he's well-off, then you should receive a decent slice of everything, to keep you in the style that you and the children've become accustomed. Get a good solicitor, if you haven't already. Don't accept a private agreement between you and your husband, as he may not keep to it. Best of luck.

[vway]

Thanks for all our help and answers,there is a lot more to the story other than me not even trying to find a part time job,I also agree with Mirror that I may be better off than some mums who really do struggle but my ex has left his wife and 2 young children for an ex girlfriend who slashed his face,the farm was going under when I met himI worked and he did not pay himself for 2 years, now he's doing well he has gone off!!! he should face up to his responabilities and care for his children not spend �100 on a meal for him and his new girlfriend.

[vway]

Thanks for all our help and answers,there is a lot more to the story other than me not even trying to find a part time job,I also agree with Mirror that I may be better off than some mums who really do struggle but my ex has left his wife and 2 young children for an ex girlfriend who slashed his face,the farm was going under when I met himI worked and he did not pay himself for 2 years, now he's doing well he has gone off!!! he should face up to his responabilities and care for his children not spend �100 on a meal for him and his new girlfriend. not only do I have to worry about the money issue Iam worried for the safety of my children with a women who is capable of slashing someones face

[smudge742]

Get a solicitor now! I split with my ex 7yrs ago, as he was an abusive bully, I didn't get legal help then as I was too scared of him. I wish I had found the courage. He has started bullying our children, and as I am now with a wonderful, caring partner who works, I am not eligible for legal aid, and if this goes to court (access and stuff) I will be forced to pay. We are only �20 a month over the limit but have been told to expect fees upwards of �5k (which we don't have). I have had the maintenance sorted recently through the CSA and am awaiting the first payment, but it would have been easier, and I would have been better off if I'd sorted this before. Don't risk your's and your kids emotional wellbeing, sort it now, and make him pay what's right. Good luck .

[sp1214]

How is it you are giving stars to those who support your husband but nothing to those who support you?

[vway]

point taken not relly looked at the ones I have rated and those I had not,

[vway]

Thanks for all your help and support.I now have a better idea of things to come and what to do due to your kind information.
. Thankyou all for taking the time to answer. vway

[DrFilth]

1, first get a good solicitor
2, if he has ever had cash payments (items that have not gone through the books ) keep scans print them out and keep them safe (do not tell HIM )
3, try and keep calm
my sister had the same problem was going to get next to nothing because a lot of his money was in cash. when the solicitors were trying to reach a settlement my sisters solicitior brought out a record of payments he had received and never told his solicitor about.my sister's solicitor was going to get the inland revenue involved. they soon made a better offer.he did not fancy a big tax bill or jail.
best of luck .hope this helps. keep all your paper work well hidden and safe