Witty replies

[Caribeing]

Noticed some answerbankers are very witty have you ever given or received a witty reply who is your "wittiest" person celebrity etc
would you like to coin an original witty quotation?

[cazzz1975]

blackadder was the wittiest show going!

[jojojojoanne]

hasta la vista!

really original like but......

[tiggerblue10]

Snap Cazzz. Blackadder is my all time favourite and Red Dwarf comes a very close second.

[pink-kittens]

Ah, Blackadder ........ An programme so cunning that you could put a tale on it and call it a weasel :)

Red Dwarf is a fave here too. smegheads

[Postdog]

The wittiest reply I have ever had was valentines day many many years ago. It's a long story but I was on the tube and there was a girl sat opposite me who I found really attractive - she was quite ordinary really but there was something about her.

Anyway I was a shy naive teen, no idea what to do or say, and all I could do was keep looking at her now and then. She stayed opposite me all the way home. a good half hour or so, and by the time we had got to the station before mine, we were alone in the carriage. kept thinking I have to say something before I got off, and then fate took a hand, because in uncrossing her legs, she accidentally kicked me. "Sorry" she said, to which I answered (bearing in mind the day) "do you know, if I'd have known you were going to be on here tonight I'd have brought a bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates". She looked straight back at me, smiled, and said "and if I'd have known you were going to be on here I'd have cufking walked!!".

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I got off, but I had to give her credit for the comeback.

[Caribeing]

postdog if only she'd known you were dyslexic

[gonzo00]

heard a great one whilst walking through belfast one day......a homless guy,complete with a dog on the end of a piece of rope was begging on royal avenue. an obviously very wealthy lady was walking past and he asked her " please love,do you have any spare change? to this the lady replied (in a very upper class accent) "i am not in the habit of giving money to people in the street" the homeless guy stood up and held out his tattered army jacket as if to show her all of the holes,rips etc. and said " what do you want me to do,open a f*cking office?!!!!!! it was a classic!

[daffy654]

Hugh Laurie in House.........although his is a fine line between wit and biting sarcasm.

[wolf63]

Postdog's knock-back had me laughing. It sounds like something that I would come out with - tact not being my strongest personality trait.

Susan

Come to think of it - Post + Dog = bad combination.

[sir.prize]

At the National TV Awards 2006 I met Paul O'Grady in the corridor. Asking if I could take a photograph he quickly replied: Yes, but hurry up I want a pi$$ and a pint but not in that order.