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O'Reilly | 12:13 Mon 13th Aug 2007 | Law
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when my Grandfather died in 1985 my family all travelled from miles distant to attend his funeral and internment at his local cemetary. My grandmother had died some 6 years prior and had a gravestone erected with room for my Grandfathers name. The gravestone was removed by the cemetary(?) undertakers (?) for my Grandfathers funeral. I have just gone back to the cemetary and can see no headstone - it was never replaced. I presume it was removed awaiting his name as an addition and nobody in the family had the money to do this. I have the original receipt of the headstone and want it replaced and I now have the money to add my Grandfathers name to it - but many years have elapsed and I now need to know if the non replacement of a purchased stone is considered to be theft by the undertaker/cemetary or if I can insist it be replaced and simply pay for my Grandfather's name to be added?
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It is usual for the cemetery concerned to remove the headstone when a grave is reopened and will store it.If the cemetery is maintained by the local authority then contact the relevant council department and see if they have a record of where the headstone is stored. They may have policies in place to dispose of headstones if no one contacts them within a set time frame. Give the council the plot number , if you have it, as this will make a search quicker. If they find it I have no doubt that there will be a charge to reinstate it. Unless you had instructed a local monumental mason to carry out alterations to the headstone I cant see that they would take it away.
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I think I'll write to the actual cemetary. When my Grandfather died nobody thought anything about a missing stone. No council or undertaker wrote to any of us saying that they had removed the original headstone and nobody contacted us to ask if we wanted an additional name added. I am sure my late uncle and my late mother would have dealt with this but they both died soon after and I am living 400 miles away so simply had the opportunity recently to travel there and pay my respects and can't find the grave as no headstone was replaced. I know the location but it seems I have a horizontal choice of three unmarked graves where I was expecting to see just my Grandmother's name. The cemetary is Ann's Hill, Gosport, Hampshire. Question is who to approach for answers? The cemetary who rightly removed a headstone for a fresh internment but did not replace the stone? The undertakers who took the stone away and did not replace it? Why nobody was contacted regarding the removal of a stone and the non replacement of it ? Where do I start asking polite questions?
I am very upset to drive hours to pay respects to my family and cannot find them as the stone has been removed - also a small "In Memorium" flower vase has vanished - and all I can see are a choice of 3 graves all now un-marked. I feel sure that a grave stone is removed for a new burial but it should have been replaced. It has not been so I need to ascertain the first contact - would that be the actual cemetary office? i know for a fact that the executors (my late Mother and her Brother) were never contacted by anyone and they had no funds to add to an existing headstone anyhow so it's down to me to pay up for an addition to a missing headstone. Finally I have the funds and check out the plot and I travel there to find find no headstone so someone somewhere has pinched it without any notification or warning. I have a photo of the gravestone and the actual receipts of purchase, so who should I contact first?
Speaking from my own experience it was the council gravediggers who removed the headstone and they stored it on site until they received instructions via the undertakers to replace it and then we arranged an additional inscription to be done by a local mason.

As a first step contact Gosport Borough Council and give them the name of the deceased and the date of the last internment and see what information they can offer.
Below is the council website so you could start the ball rolling with an e-mail.

http://www.gosport.gov.uk/sections/your-counci l/council-services/leisure--amenities/anns-hil l-cemetery

Good Luck
the stonemason may have already added the name and has not replaced it because no-one paid for it...?
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Oh thank you both for your help and advice. I could not find a Gosport link so its very handy to have a method of contact. I do remember when my Grandfather died his children (my Mother and Uncle) were executors and arranged the funeral with the undertakers who we always used. I do know that neither were approached regarding adding to a headstone (my Grandfather had left room on the stone for his name to be added) I recall my Mother saying to me "the stone is still not put back - maybe they are waiting for the ground to settle" and that was 6 months after my Grandfather had died. We has a large marble flower vase with his initials on as nobody at that time could have afforded additions to the gravestone. After 6 months we all moved hundreds of miles away and had mail forwarded for over a year and the undertaker (also were stone masons) never contacted anyone. I may be out of time now but I do have the original stone receipts - as far as I am concerned its theft of a gravestone so I'll start with the Gosport link and see what they have to say.
Great shock making a special visit and not being able to locate the grave as three in a line no longer have headstones.

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