Age Differences - Do They Really Matter In The End?

[CactusButtus]

Okay, love is blind, and to top that off, with me, it can't count either. I have been with my partner for just over a year now. Don't get me wrong, I love him to death, so that's not what I'm here to talk about. My partner and I have a 'little' bit of an age difference... okay, a HUGE age difference.
I'm the kind of person that looks at people for who they are, rather than judging them by their age, physical state etc. I am attracted to my partner physically, mentally and emotionally. Ever since him and I got together, my family has had a hard time accepting it... in fact, they have expressed loud and clear that they never will accept it. That's fair enough and I accept that. By now, you're probably really wanting to know how big the age gap is. Well, my partner and I have a nice big age gap of 35 years. Yes, that's right... when you work it all out in your head, it doesn't look very good.
I'm a little sick of all the criticism I get because of the age difference, and there's nothing I can do about the gap. I do understand the way society thinks and reacts but what ever happened to 'as long as you love him/her, that's all that matters'?

Jaymee-Lee

[CactusButtus]

Mammar - To most is it a bit weird that someone his age would actually go as far as having a proper relationship with someone my age. I just look at him as the person he is, I don't look at him and think, "Oh My God, he's 52, what the heck am I doing?!" Good and bad thing...?

Nannon - If I could make him my age, I would. But then again, without the experience he has had in life, he wouldn't be the same person he is today. No probs. I thought you had made a slight boo boo. Don't worry about it ;-)

Gina32 - Good to hear! They're not that bad! LOL!

Jno - I have talked to him about our age gap several times. He expects me to leave him eventually, be he doesn't let that thought get to him. We just know that we should make the most of now because who knows what tomorrow shall bring... I might be the one to pass away first. Chit happens. Hehehe. Yep, that sounds about right. "If he's old, make sure he's rich"... at least, that was my step fathers outlook on the situation. Now THAT kinda thought process REALLY frustrates me. My parents use to invite boys (my own age) to the house unannounced and hoped I would grow to like them and fall in love with them. They put a lot of pressure on me in that respect. They knew where I was headed and they took some desperate measures to stop me. They need to at least learn to understand where I am coming from and the way I am. I have never asked them to accept it. And yes, I have accessed all risks, so has he. Sometimes we'd sit down and access them together - other times we'd do it alone.

Silversky - I am aware of that. I'm undecided on whether or not I want kids... I think my 6 younger brothers put me right off. LOL. But seriously, if I was to have kids with HIM, it would be within the next 4 years (at most). That kind of thing is definitely still up in the air as I am aware he will have lived more than half his life.

[CactusButtus]

xhxmxsx - Well seeing as my partner and I's age gap is almost 3 times the amount between you and your husband to be, I think you're safe. :-)

[gina32]

you sound like a very mature young lady and i hope it goes well

[Mammar]

Cactus - the more I read of your replies, the more I am reassured.
I go with Gina - you have astonishing maturity for your age and I reckon you can cope with whatever the future may throw at you.
All the best to you both x x

[CactusButtus]

Gina32 - Thank you very much for your support.

Mammar - Thank you for your well wishes and I wish you, as well as all the rest of you, a very bright and happy future. :-)

[Skreecheeboy]

I was going out with a 46 year old when I was 20. She was more messed up than me and I was homeless at the time so if your boyfriend is anything to go by then I'd give him all the love you can then move on, don't make longterm plans with him in them as you'll ruin your life! Better still just dump him and go out with me, I'm only 24 and can say with confidence that I am much better looking than somebody that's about to retire! How about you, are you fit?

[CactusButtus]

Skreecheeboy - Wow... I didn't expect that... LOL. Thanks for the offer, but no thank you. To answer your question, yes I am fit. Mainly because of a lot of sport I use to play and a fitness plan I stick by (most of the time - hehehe). I do understand where everyone is coming from, both good comments and bad comments have their own meaning and reason. My partner is actually quite a handsome man - believe it or not. ;-) As I said, thank you for the offer, but my heart belongs completely to my partner. :-)

[Justaperson]

You may like to go with your pleasure but that may not love even you foresee what the responsiblility there you have to take for your own. You need not seek any advice if you think no body do it for you. Even you don't think you need senior who can care you much but not those with similar ages that you need to go the similar stages with them in life (By the way, will your partner play kid things with you? Sorry), if you know your partner like you as you are, as a kid, or being mautre at certain points? I don't know if you just need the supporters, or any advice actually. If all just go for pleasure, no adivice on age differneces actually there is necessary.

[nadcookie]

heya god may say it is quite a shock as far as that age gap but then again if it dosnt work out then you decde what you want to do at that time. I like how much you appreciate him because i doubt that if that was someone your own age you would care so much. Just dont go getting yourself completly tied down for a very long time because yes you have been with him a year but it sometimes takes a longer time period for problems to occur(age gap or no age gap)

good luck x

[CactusButtus]

Justaperson - Play kid things with me? Define that. If you are picturing me as the type of 'kid' that wants to play lego, you are kindly mistaken. If you mean teenage things, then maybe... I'm at the stage now where I just wanna play sport or guitar. So, whatever you had in mind about 'kid things', it just isn't happening. Pleasures, huh? There is always ups and downs in relationships. Everyone knows that. His company is all the pleasure I need.
Nadcookie - We have had our problems. But relationships tend to fail because of lack of communication. We voice our opinions, sort out the problems, and move on. Dishonesty is another relationship killer. Everyone would agree with that. As long as we are both upfront and honest with eachother, I don't really see how we can fail. Age gap aside, we're just a normal partnership.

[Justaperson]

If that isn�t only pleasure or it all just for the own pleasure, do you say that is love? Would he cares your whole person development? Or if you think you can do yours under such gap? There is appropriate maturity and childhood? Of if they have their own time? The picture of nature you can see at this moment that you won�t see the same again in the next year. Of course, there are different elements for the true love that nobody can understand all even they have spent half of their life.

[CactusButtus]

Justaperson - I can assure you, if you are trying to accuse us of using one another, you are kindly mistaken. I have spoken to people about this before. One of my mates said, "Oh wait, don't tell me, he's rich, isn't he?" One thing I have noticed, is when it comes to 'abnormality' of any description or nature, a lot of people have the jerk reaction of trying to find a justifiable excuse for it. The one 'justifiable excuse' they never come up with is, maybe they are just in love. It seems that some, if not most, people see that as a very unlikely occurrence, especially in a situation like mine.

[Justaperson]

Even if it is love, as it started, then it obviously isn�t. The same, the difference isn�t just be shown on material life, if it can, also, it will be easy for people to point out the depth of the difference to you. He need not be rich, but you have something from him that you may be impatient to develop with those around you age.

[Justaperson]

Moreover, while you always think people have bias on that, if you tried to put down yours on people?

[Justaperson]

Eveybody think their case should be the special in the world. I admit every couple should be unique. However, sometimes, to more or less extent, we are actually no much different to guys they jsut next to us making our excuses for running our ways.