Abortion...

[Silversky]

A post on relationships and dating today made me think about a discussion me and my boyfriend had yesterday about protection.
It also made us discuss what we would do if I fell pregnant. He knows that I have quite strong beliefs (non-religious) on abortion.
I was wondering how everyone else felt about it?
Thanks : )

[Pippa68]

Ahhhh Goodie...your post wasn't tere when I was typing ;o)

I was also going to mention the guy who succeeded in preventing his now ex girlfriend from using the frozen embryos.

[Octavius]

My point was that if a partner of mine was unsure, I would help her come to a decision. If (we) decided that it was wanted or to be aborted, then I would support that decision as we would have made it together.

If a partner of mine held back the fact they were pregnant with my baby and had an abortion behind my back, then that would constitute a breach of my trust and therefore make the relationship meaningless. I might not like the decision beforehand, but I would stand by the person more so during and after, than if they had deceived me.

[radiogaga]

when the father walks away or removes support, because the woman wants the child, thats when its wholly unfair thats when the woman's is pressured to have a termination

[Pippa68]

I have discussed this with Mr P, Octavius. Hopefully not for long as he is planning the snip..actually he has been planning it for 10 years, and we had a child in the middle of that ;o)

We know that we don't want any more children ~ but the idea of me having an abortion fills him with dread. He has told me that if I wanted to have a termination I would have to do it behind his back because he would be in turmoil. He has no problem with my termination as it was long before we met...but the idea of me aborting HIS baby (considering we have daughters together) isn't a nice one.

He was anti abortion when he met me, but is now pro-choice. As has already been said nobody actually knows what they would do unless it happened to them.

[radiogaga]

well im glad there are men out there like you who face up their responsibility' s.
im not suggesting for 1 minute a woman decides without her partners knowing is correct, calm down you got the wrong end of the stick completely

[Silversky]

Thanks for all your opinions, I was gueniunely interested in what everyone else thought.
Sexyrussian- In no circumstance would you have an abortion? Even in some of the awful cases you hear about (i.e. rape)???

And legend007 and warpig3- I kinda agree with you both, I think that both parties should make an agreement together, however should have a responsiblity and (maybe legal) agreement that they both must provide for the child no matter of their relationship status.
If the man however does not comply with this agreement, then the woman is free to do as she chooses.

If it was me personally, if the circumstances I think I would fall pregnant in (i.e. In the relationship I'm in now, happy with my life and self) then I don't think I could bring myself to destroy a life.

Although, there has been circumstance people have written about down here, which I agree that there are times when abortion is 'neccessary'...

Thank you for all your comments.

[Ric.ror]

I know I am going to get blasted for this but I am totally opposed to all abortion. For the same reasons as everyone is opposed to it I imagine, but what I find hard to tolerate is the same people where I work banging on about the rights of animals and then being in favour of terminating the life of another human being. It does not and never will make any sense to me at all

[Octavius]

Pippa, it has happened to me and of course I didn't like the decision, but I stood by the decison we made together and supported my partner (not Mrs O) before, during and after. It is not something I am proud of, but it is not something that I regret now - although as you have said you never forget and often wonder. It was right for us at the time.

I would be equally devastated if MrsO decided to abort, but I would rather she went through it with my support, than alone and behind my back.

radio, my second point above was in relation to Goods post on the previous page.

[warpig3]

Ric.ror, what about an abortion for medical reasons? My aunts mother died because (due to her religion) pressure was put on her not to have an abortion even though the doctors told her that to go through with the pregnancy would be life threating (ultimately it was life taking for both her and the baby), this left her husband with five young children under the age of 10, some of whom had to go into temporary foster care.

[Reverandfunk]

As a bloke I think the choice should go to the woman, she's the one who will carry it and give birth etc etc.

And as for never having an abortion, what about if you were raped? or had a one night stand? Sometimes abortion is the best choice, there are enough unloved kids in the world.

[sexyrussiann]

Honestly.If I was raped by my own father and was penniless I would STILL NOT have an abortion.I can honestly not think of any circumstance when I would make the decision to take away the life of my baby.Also I know I'm the kind of person that could never live with that fact of knowing what I'd done.I can be quite soft hearted about certain things and this is one of them.

[sexyrussiann]

If I was told I would definetly die if I continued a pregnancy I would continue with the pregnancy. I would die for my inborn child.

[wired]

Personally I could never condone abortion and wonder just where abortion stops and murder begins.

[smudge]

Hear, hear Reverandfunk.

Although I don't condone abortion, there will always be certain circumstances where it might be for the best.

I could never imagine the turmoil of being impregnated by a rapist - I just know I would have to have a termination as soon as I could.

God help anyone who has had to go through that.

[jilly66]

I am totally prochoice but I would advise anyone to think long and hard about making this decision. I know most people who do have an abortion for whatever reason do not make the decision lightly - and I'm one of those people, however, the decision was made when I was younger and one of the main reasons it was made was out of sheer panic - I come from a background where the idea of a child without being married was an absolute no go.

For me, I thought the only option was to have an abortion so this is what my partner and I went through with. It is something we have deeply regretted from that day to this (seven years now), has caused problems within our relationship and has left me desperately wanting kids but not being able to forgive myself for a decision I made 7 years ago.

So, as I say, I am still prochoice but would advise anyone thinking of going through with a termination to think absolutely every avenue through before reaching a final decision because otherwise, it may be something you live to regret.