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Responding to Insults

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haha | 22:20 Thu 08th Jul 2004 | Body & Soul
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What is the best way to avoid a fight or respond to insulting jokes and comments without being insulting yourself?
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What about putting your hands up (in a sort of surrendering way) saying "you win" or "thanks" in a cheerful voice & walk off in a different direction so as not to be provocking confrontation?? It's worked for me a few times.
Like PurplePixie I try to smile sweetly and walk away, it has much more dignity and leaves the other person feeling deflated. Of course, it is very difficult to do this, but it will leave you feeling superior.
My colleagues are correct (as usual!) - avoiding conflict is best achieved by simply walking away. The purpose of insulting someone is to get a reaction, remove your reaction, and the insulter starts to looks nasty and stupid, which of course they are, while you look adult and dignified. A few times, and the nonsense will stop.
Andy is correct in that if you simply fail to react then the whole purpose of the insult is missed. A small smile and shake of the head will be enough to show you have dismissed the insult and its not bothered you.
Or rip their head off, they won't be able to fight then?
I'd agree with all of the above but I know how hard it is to bite your tongue. Is it your appearance that the comments are about or your lifestyle?... I've always said it's a good thing that I'm not famous 'cos I'd be a cartoonists dream! I have on occasion laughed & said "I couldn't agree more, I was definitely at the back of the queue when legs/boobs/noses were handed out but hey, I'm much too busy to worry about it." Try not to dwell on it, minutes after you've walked away their poor intellect has made them forget about you, & they're picking on someone else.
There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it. --G.B. Shaw
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Most bullies usually only perform with an audience. The 'smiling at them and replying something courteous' as suggested makes them look like a real twit. "thanks for pointing that out" or "gosh, I didn't know that, you're the first one to notice that" and walking away is very effective.
My son was being hassled at school for having sticky-out ears so I told him to make a joke out of the other kids' comments. He now answers that he can pick up Sky on them. It seems to have worked :-)

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