Sunday Express Skeleton Sunday April...
Crosswords1 min ago
Poor Cinders :0(
Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appears the fairy godmother.
"Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years"?
The fairy godmother replies "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?" Cinderella is taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she utters her first wish: "the Prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I'm living hand to mouth on my disability cheques, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension. Instantly her rocking chair turns into solid gold.
Cinderella says; "oh, thank you Fairy Godmother"
The fairy godmother replies, "It is the least I can do. What do you want for your second wish?"
Cinderella looks down at her frail body, and says; "I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had." At once, her wish becomes reality, and her beautiful young body returns. She also feels stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years.
And then the fairy godmother speaks once more: "You have one more wish; what shall it be?" Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man." Magically, Bob suddenly becomes a man so handsome the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.
The fairy godmother says "Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life." And disappears as suddenly as she appeared.
For a few eerie moments Bob and Cinderella look into each other's eyes. She sits, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she has ever seen.
Then Bob walks over to Cinderella, who sits transfixed and holds her close in his young muscular arms. He leans in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispers...
"Bet you're sorry now that you cut my bo**cks off"..???
"Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years"?
The fairy godmother replies "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?" Cinderella is taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she utters her first wish: "the Prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I'm living hand to mouth on my disability cheques, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension. Instantly her rocking chair turns into solid gold.
Cinderella says; "oh, thank you Fairy Godmother"
The fairy godmother replies, "It is the least I can do. What do you want for your second wish?"
Cinderella looks down at her frail body, and says; "I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had." At once, her wish becomes reality, and her beautiful young body returns. She also feels stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years.
And then the fairy godmother speaks once more: "You have one more wish; what shall it be?" Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man." Magically, Bob suddenly becomes a man so handsome the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.
The fairy godmother says "Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life." And disappears as suddenly as she appeared.
For a few eerie moments Bob and Cinderella look into each other's eyes. She sits, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she has ever seen.
Then Bob walks over to Cinderella, who sits transfixed and holds her close in his young muscular arms. He leans in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispers...
"Bet you're sorry now that you cut my bo**cks off"..???
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