Ok, I seen you post this, and had the DVD at home, and didn't read your post fully since I didn't want to ruin the film, but now I've watched it and I can tell you I thourghly enjoyed it too!
But like you, when he stepped into the channel to start the swim, the first thing I asked myself was, what about the lard?
Good film though!
Man in Pub (pointing to arm) - Sharkbite, thirty five footer
Billy (pointing at tiny scar on his arm) - Fell off my bike. Two wheeler
So very funny!