ChatterBank1 min ago
How can I make the pain go away?
4 Answers
Hi everyone. I would like to ask for advice regarding a problem I am facing right now. I have this girl I like before who has now been avoiding me for reasons I am not even sure of. Though, my feelings for her have dwindled due to our lesser to zero interaction, I still make some random efforts to at least win her back even just as a friend and this brings about a lot of stress to me as encountering her everyday takes up a huge effort on my part just to try to talk to her (which is pretty much trying to talk to a deaf person).
Along with this, I also have this girl I am now beginning to like who I wasn't able to take notice of before since I was interested in another girl, who has now been avoiding me too. This is what makes up the bulk of my stressors today. Of note, this girl I am talking about before would do random things just to be with me or show me that she cares, though, as I have said, I have failed to take notice of that before. Now, she would partially to totally disregard me and I must admit that it is now hurting me more, enough to make me so confused at times. I kept on thinking that she should not have been too close to me before, and now that I am beginning to like her a lot, she suddenly changes and starts avoiding me. I hope to understand this situation since she is technically a married woman, married to man whom she is currently not in good terms with, and that this whole thing is wrong to begin with, but the pain still won't go away.
To conclude, now I have both the first girl and this second girl in my work place giving me pressure, making me depressed, bringing me pain, and making me so confused. It is really of concern for me since it is beginning to affect the quality of my job. I hope you guys could lend me a hand. I wish to have this pain go away so I can back to normally dealing with things in the office and in my life. Thanks a lot!
Along with this, I also have this girl I am now beginning to like who I wasn't able to take notice of before since I was interested in another girl, who has now been avoiding me too. This is what makes up the bulk of my stressors today. Of note, this girl I am talking about before would do random things just to be with me or show me that she cares, though, as I have said, I have failed to take notice of that before. Now, she would partially to totally disregard me and I must admit that it is now hurting me more, enough to make me so confused at times. I kept on thinking that she should not have been too close to me before, and now that I am beginning to like her a lot, she suddenly changes and starts avoiding me. I hope to understand this situation since she is technically a married woman, married to man whom she is currently not in good terms with, and that this whole thing is wrong to begin with, but the pain still won't go away.
To conclude, now I have both the first girl and this second girl in my work place giving me pressure, making me depressed, bringing me pain, and making me so confused. It is really of concern for me since it is beginning to affect the quality of my job. I hope you guys could lend me a hand. I wish to have this pain go away so I can back to normally dealing with things in the office and in my life. Thanks a lot!
Answers
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Stop putting in any effort with either of them, if you see them in passing then of course acknowledge them, and if they speak to you first then answer them like you would any of your friends but do not put in any effort - basically don't seek them and don't 'actively' ignore them, and try not to think about them - think about your work instead!
If you want the married one then ignoring her is certainly a good start as, like most girls, she is more interested when she thinks the man is not interested in her - as you have seen for yourself. But don't think that ignoring her is a way to make her interested again, do not expect this or you will not be ignoring her.
Although to be honest it sounds like your bridges are burned with both of them so the best thing to do is to try and forget you ever had emotions about them, it is possible in time (a few months max). There are no magic bullets for this - apart form finding another girl (preferably outside work!).
Good luck fella.
If you want the married one then ignoring her is certainly a good start as, like most girls, she is more interested when she thinks the man is not interested in her - as you have seen for yourself. But don't think that ignoring her is a way to make her interested again, do not expect this or you will not be ignoring her.
Although to be honest it sounds like your bridges are burned with both of them so the best thing to do is to try and forget you ever had emotions about them, it is possible in time (a few months max). There are no magic bullets for this - apart form finding another girl (preferably outside work!).
Good luck fella.
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