Why dont women fart??

[ReallyLegend]

Excuse me.

Maybe i should rephrase that question?

So here i go.


Why dont women fart ,
until theyre married?
Then they blow offf like trumpeters at a celebration p[arade and smelll worse than a dead rat after 3 days in the sun?

[noway2]

It's good to fart.Maybe thats why I'm still single.

[paraffin]

It's all a ploy to get that elusive ring on the 4th finger of the left hand. Aploy, I say, a goddamned plot!!! Trapped !!! Doomed !!!

[grasscarp]

Probably because they realise that they got the wrong guy and are trying to make him leave (her the house etc)

[paraffin]

But put it this way: If it's in bed, it's HER head which gets shoved under the duvet !!!

[pastafreak]

Maybe it is not a matter of us not farting........but of you not noticing.....?

[Postdog]

Dutch ovens - great game to play when you're too tired for sex.

[paraffin]

There's nothing quite so romantic as when, late at night she's
upstairs in bed asleep, you're sitting quietly downstairs reading, telly off, could hear a pin drop, when suddenly your reverie's shattered by the sound of her letting one rip, and you think lovingly to yourself: "That's the love of my life up there!"

Aaaaahhhh, ain't love grand ?

[noway2]

LOL paraffin. ,pasta have you a lavender bum?

[joggerjayne]

Unless he's got his nose between your cheeks ...

(in which case, it's a bit discourteous)

... does it really matter so much ???

[NoMercy]

I'm on a high fibre vegan diet at the mo. I'm positively lethal....

[joby1]

I never trump.......ever... :-))

[caththecrazy]

If they don't fart until they're married they must have stored up a hell of a lot of gas - no wonder it's so deadly

[joggerjayne]

Eeeuuuwww, NoMercy !!!

(that's "Eeeuuwww" to the diet, not the farting)

[pastafreak]

Naah noway.....it quite an ordinary bum and I hate lavender......why do you ask.??

[paraffin]

In bed I at least play the gentleman and sling my arriss over the side, away from her, before calling a cab!

Not her! She waits till I nod off, then wiggles her butt under my chin and gives if full throttle!

No wonder I keep a can of Fabreze under my pillow!!

[jackthehat]

An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I haven't stopped farting, but now they smell terrible! What's going on?"

"Calm down, Mrs.Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing."

[joggerjayne]

wiggles her butt under your chin, para ??

I'm trying to picture how you're both lying at this point !!

[NoMercy]

I'm detoxing, JJ. No meat, fish, caffeine, alcohol, wheat, dairy or nicotine. I will reintroduce fish and white meat after 2 weeks. The diet is not all that bad actually. I had spinach and aubergine curry this evening, with brown basmati and quinoa.

[pastafreak]

As soon as the lights went out...my ex would turn on his side-butt facing me - and let rip. Lager,red-wine and curry took their toll.
The only way to get even..was to eat an overipe banana in the car with the windows sealed shut....may not sound bad...but HE hated it.

[cazzz1975]

a farts a fart, most people only love the smell of their own