Can Jehovah Really Be The Almighty, Omnipotent, Creator?

[naomi24]

And the Lord was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.

Judges 1:19

[naomi24]

Ha! You would say that! ;o)

[joggerjayne]

Well II would, of course.

I have to take my new religion seriously.

In my experience, people with religion do tend to take it seriously!

Oh boy, do they ever!

So anyway, if I'm going to dance naked in the Pavilion Gardens and sacrifice chickens by moonlight, then I should also acknowledge the omnipotence of the great Bondye.

Otherwise, I might as well just take the chicken home and eat it.

[naomi24]

Hey, hang on a minute. You don't have any chickens. I've just put out a call on another thread for a whip round to buy you one.

err ... fried or grilled?

[joggerjayne]

Okay, I don't have any chickens ... YET!

But how hard can it be to get hold of a chicken, for heavens sake.

I don't mean literally. I know they can be a bit tricky to grab hold of. Nippy little things when they want to be.

Well, Mums has some chickens in her garden. I know, I know, I'm embarrased enough! Although I suppose it would be bad form to sacrifice one of Mums's chickens by moonlight.

[jim360]

You've got to approach the chickens with authority, jayne!

[joggerjayne]

I haven't GOT to approach them at all, Jim.

Well, except to sacrifice one, of course.

Hmm ... I'm just wondering if we have to drink the blood, or anything? That would be a bit gross.

Sorry, Naomi ... just getting a bit "off topic" here.

[naomi24]

Wait Jayne, be patient. Leave your mother's chickens alone. AnswerBankers are, on the whole, pretty decent, so wait and see what my heartfelt plea produces. You'll probably be running alive with chickens by the morning!

Hang on a minute. We could set up a Brighton Fried Chicken shop. Sod religion - what d'ya say?

[joggerjayne]

Hey, that's a fab idea, Naomi.

There's nowhere that you can buy fried chicken here.

Actually, that's not strictly true. There are hundreds of places. But it's still a good idea. Could we tie it in with the Voodoo theme?

Naz and Jay's Voodoo Fried Chicken.

Like Halal, but more fun.

We'd have to wear top hats and paint our faces.

Or ... maybe not. If we tried to look like Baron Samedi, customers might mistake us for The Black And White Minstrels.

[jomifl]

Jane, you can get pre-killed chickens and if your voodoo is progressive as I'm sure it must be, why not frozen too.

[naomi24]

Ohhh, that sounds wonderful. I'm excited. Today Brighton ... tomorrow the world. (Just tell me we won't have to wear Ronald MacDonald wigs - please! I'm not even sure I spelt his name right!).

[joggerjayne]

Yeeeeah, jom ...

I'm just not sure about "sacrificing" a frozen chicken?

[sandyRoe]

Can you buy black pudding south of Watford? It's mostly blood. Fried it would serve as a tasty substitute for the liquid chciken variety.

[naomi24]

Frozen! Great idea. Err... Do Voodoo people do frozen?

Never mind, if Jom can get them at cost, Voodoo does frozen!

[joggerjayne]

There is one small technicality, Naomi.

To run any food outlet in Brighton now, I think you have to speak Polish.

At least ... that's how it seems.

Well, actually, the guys in The Mesmerist are all Australian, so there are exceptions. But being English is going to count against us.

[jomifl]

You're the expert Jane, In the bible sacrifices were always barbecued so there is nothing irregular about it.

[joggerjayne]

South of Watford?

Crikey, Sandy ... Watford is a long way north from here. There's a lot of places south of Watford before you get to here.

[sandyRoe]

You could always go to a deli and buy some Boudin Noir. Same thing only a fancy name.
geography was never my strong suit

[naomi24]

Bugger! Didn't think of that. Back to the drawing board.

New plans are called for, so time to get my thinking cap on.

Sweet dreams. Night all. x

[jomifl]

Here's a thought, what about self sacrificing chickens, we have them around our way and they seem to work very well. (roadkill)

[joggerjayne]

Oh, well that's sorted then, jom.

I have a pretty decent barbecue on my balcony.

So we sacrifice the chicken, bit of naked dancing, bit of ... you know ... drinking the blood (!) ... do a few chants to the lesser gods of the trees, Earth, water, etc (we don't actually worship Bondye directly ... just his accolytes) ... and then back to my place for a barbecued chicken supper.

Deal done.