Why do people put memorials at the side of the road?

[padanarm]

Why do people put memorials at the side of the road for road accident victims? Why do the tributes involve football shirts?

[danchip]

these memorials really annoy me, not only does it look awful but working for a company which looks after trunk roads it causes us so much problems.

People complain about having to drive past it,
family and friends of the victim complain if we allow the flowers to die but complain if we remove them too early, its a no win situation.

Also does anyone really think that the dead person would want to be remembered at the side of a dirty stinking road

[4getmenot]

I asked this some years ago. I've never understood why you'd put flowers at a spot where someones life ended. And they also have people slowing down to look which can cause more crashes.

[daffy654]

I remember watching a TV programme a while back about roads where an large number of accidents/deaths had occured.They showed a long road in New Zealand that has dozens of white wooden crosses along the verges that have been put there by the families of the victims.It was a strange and sad sight!

[susan1958]

I think to start with, family and friends want to go and have a look at the place where their loved one has died to say a goodbye. This is the tragedy of road accidents. your loved one goes out in the morning as normal and doesn't come home. they did not get that chance to say a final 'I love you'
so the initial flowers are placed as a respectful farewell.
When the flowers ar dead, they should be removed and then that should be the end of the tributes.

I can never understand about the football shirts either padanarm.

[4getmenot]

I dont think I;d want to go and see where my loved one had died. Why cant people lay flowers at the home

[susan1958]

It does happen though 4get. I have seen a group of people stood by the side of the road weeping and wailing and hugging each other.
It was the same with the London bombings. Flowers were laid outside the underground stations.

[Gromit]

This behaviour is new to these shores and has probably started because they have seen it on television in places abroad.

What started off as a simple bunch of flowers sellataped to a lamppost has now escalated with groups of bereaved trying to be more grieving than the next.

The result is a huge pile of flowers, potted plants, candles, lanterns and cards, which very quickly turn into a complete eyesores. No relatives return to clear up their mess.

It is mostly done when young people kill themselves in stolen cars or driving dangerously. The family and friends are probably not very bright, and this is a simple but inadequate way to express their loss.

[leggionaire]

Oh dear not much compassion here is there?Whats next war memorials?

[tiggerblue10]

Why don't they just put them on the grave? Or if cremated just give some money to charity.

[padanarm]

I find them disturbing and a distraction. Recently found out they're called 'cellotaphs'.

What has changed? People still have a funeral service and there's a burial ceremony. Surely that's the time and place to lay flowers or pay tribute? this all seems like some new kind of superstition.

It's bizarre when you see people on the hard shoulder of the motorway who've stopped to read the cards, especially when you realise the shrine is the result of an accident.

I feel sorry for anyone affected by an accident, but surely the victim wouldn't want their family and friends to cause another?

[susan1958]

As I said in my previous answer, at first it's a shock to the family. nowadays mobile phones have been a quick way to get in touch with other members of the victims family and friends and it's a shock reaction to want to go and see the place of their loved ones death and all this happens BEFORE the funeral or cremation.
But I agree it can be a distraction and annoyance to other road users.

[leggionaire]

Simple 2 part question.

Part 1 " Why do people put memorials at the side of the road for road accident victims?"

Answer its a memorial to remember their dead relatives.

part 2 " Why do the tributes involve football shirts? "

Answer is they don't always but i imagine , though I'm no expert , that they are the shirts of the team the person supported.


We could ask why , the simple answer is it gives them some comfort.Its a cruel world and Reading some of the posts here it seems there are a few people who really couldn't give a toss.

Sad really .

[susan1958]

Not all accident victims are the ones who steal cars and go boy racing Gromit.
what about the innocent drivers of the car coming the other way?

[4getmenot]

Ilm sure everyone gives a toss on here. I have had lots of friends very young die in crashes. A friend of mine got run over and killed the other month and afterwards I watched people trying to cross a busy main road trying to lay flowers. It was ridiculous. If they were that good a friend then they would know about funeral and be able to lay flowers there.

[4getmenot]

gromit that is a bit harsh. I can assure you all my friends owned and were driving their own cars when they were killed

[sara3]

2 kids died recently at my daughter's school. the grieving kids made 2 memorials surrounding 2 trees in the school grounds. the boy played in a band and a band t-shirt was attached to one tree. the girl loved dancing, and a t-shirt from her dance group was attached to the other tree. the kids made their tributes and left flowers and notes. it was beautiful and very moving.

people need to grieve in whatever way they choose.

[Sqad]

Totally stupid.

Flowers look "manky after a few days.......also

Stalks in gardens with a baby and a message."Darren ( Wayne) arrived yesterday, who cares?

Now, photograph of birthday girl on about 20 trees in the road "Karen is 21 today2.....how could I live, not knowing that?

Exhibitionism gone mad.

[marval]

I remember when Princess Diana died, not flowers at the side of the road, but loads of flowers outside just about every place she had lived. The trouble is that people had to clear them up. I think instead of flowers the money should be given to charity.

I know people want to grieve, but surely flowers at the graveside rather than at the roadside where they died would be better.

I agree that people will slow down to look, possibly the cause of another accident.

[ummmm]

Well.....My daughters BF was killed in a car crash in May and the police still haven't released the body. So from May to now where are they suppose to pay their respects.

[4getmenot]

at his home umm, conforting the people that need it most. His family. And there were flowers at side of road when di died. sara that is lovely very thoughtful of them all