Conversation Openers

[Cloverjo]

I HAVE to go go to a dinner party next month. I’m rubbish at chatting to strangers.
What do I say to unfortunate guy seated next to me? What’s a good opener? And followereron?

[wolf63]

I have the opposite problem. I often start conversations with strangers that I meet on the street. I like to think that it is due to my bubbly personality but it may be due to my Bipolar brain.

Are you taking your oh?

I cant help you but I do know that you will not be the only one worried about this.

[JimF]

Well, the band Moloko was formed when Roisin Murphy met Mark Brydon at a party in Sheffield and her opening line was "Do you like my tight sweater? See how it fits my body".

Maybe you could try that...

[jno]

"How do you know [host's name here]?"

If he/she says work, chess club, sex worker, whatever, "That sounds interesting, what does it involve?"

Don't discuss Brexit, leave that to social media.

[pixie374]

The easiest thing, in those situations, always, is to ask people (non-intrusive) questions about themselves. It is one thing they will definitely know about and also be interested in.
Ask anything from how they know the hosts, how long it took them to get there, to what work they do or even music, TV, films. Hopefully there will be something in common somewhere, but you can take cues from their answers.
I also wouldn't consider them "unfortunate" to be next to you lol. You are a kind, intelligent person, who is clearly making an effort. They are lucky to be next to you and being looked after properly... x

[ummmm]

I bet you're not as rubbish as you think. I hate/dred talking to strangers but apparently I'm good at it, I hide it well.

[Tilly2]

There'll be another man sitting on the other side as well. Try the same with him. :-)

[Ken4155]

Just be up front from the off. Tell the man/men seated beside you, "Please don't take my silence for indifference toward you. It's just that i'm rubbish at striking up conversations with people i don't know." Then, if the man/men is a/are true gents, they'll ease you into a conversation. Best of luck and enjoy the meal.

[ummmm]

Ken - you have to joking. That's the last thing someone who feels awkward would say to a stranger.

[Ken4155]

Ummmm, the absence of a :-) should tell you i wasn't joking. I was, imho, giving sound advice.

[ummmm]

If only it was as simple as that. That's a bit like telling someone with anxiety to pull themselves together.

[Old_Geezer]

Just grab the thigh of the person either side of you as you sit down and you won't need to talk to either all meal. They'll mysteriously always seem to be looking in the opposite direction.

[Ken4155]

Nothing like telling someone with anxiety to pull themselves together. What a ridiculous analogy. I have a daughter who suffers from anxiety and, when an attack hits her, she can hardly draw breath, she feels sick and giddy, her legs turn to jelly, she shakes like a leaf in a gale and she is in 'flight' mode. That's hardly akin to being a tad awkward at striking up a conversation. In my very humble opinion, of course.

[aelmpvw]

//Just grab the thigh of the person either side of you//
that could misfire if they return the compliment

[Old_Geezer]

You just say, "Oh sorry, I thought you were my grandfather/grandmother."

[-SharonA-]

Don't discuss religion either!
Keep it light and neutral. Suitable subjects: weather, kids, food, wine and keeping it brief, work.

[Patsy33]

Ask him if he's ready for Christmas....

[ummmm]

Ken - I think you're confusing anxiety with a panic attack.

[Ellipsis]

> Just grab the thigh of the person either side of you as you sit down

Boris! Get off AB and back to running the country ...

[ichkeria]

“Pass the salt”

Seriously the best thing to do rather than ask them about themselves, or indeed talk about oneself, - that would put me off - I’d to make some casual remark about the meal or something visible to both parties and take it from there

[pixie374]

//Just grab the thigh of the person either side of you as you sit down//

That usually has the opposite effect, og... :-)

I don't think Clover has said whether it is anxiety or shyness... but either way, a brief jokey comment about awkwardness might be ok, but if you claim to be a bit shy early on, it could be a bit self-fulfilling.