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RAY!! jokes wanted......

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hippyhoppy | 23:06 Fri 29th Feb 2008 | ChatterBank
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come on sweetness
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I received this by text today.

Sorry to hear you got mugged today by that guy who gives you the choice of being done up the bum or taking your phone.
Good to see you still have your phone.
-- answer removed --
Hiya hippy, I will put a couple on xx

Little Johnny once asked his teacher "Do hearts have legs?."

The teacher answered "Why do you ask that?"

Johnny replied "Yesterday, I heard my dad say sweetheart open your legs
Little Johnny sees his mum walk out of the shower and sees her vagina.

He asks her what it is and she embarassed replies, "Oh, that's mommy's black sponge."

A few days later, Johnny spills a glass of milk on the floor and says, "Mummy, I need your black sponge to mop up the milk!"

She replies, "I lost it, honey."

A couple of days later, he comes running up to her and says, "Mummy, I found your black sponge!" Mystified, she says, "Where, honey?"

Little Johnny says, "It's over at Mrs. Johnson's house, and Daddy's washing his face in it!"
Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mum and says, "Mum, what are those things on your chest!?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mummy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven." Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Johnnys' dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mummy's dying!!" His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mummys' balloons and she's screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!"
Q. What did the penis say to the condom?
A. Cover me im going in!


Why are there no asprins in the jungle?
Because the Parots-ate-em-all



Q: What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs?
A: A clit round the ear and a flap across the face

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