Oil Containers Sound Like A Clock And...
Crosswords1 min ago
Cuckoo Clock Problem
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Some of you may know that I tinker with clocks. Anyway, a friend brought in a clock which, according to him, had been running erratically over the Christmas period. I finally got around to taking the back off and checking the movement, and this is what I found! http://
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I gathered the wee varmints together; gave them each a thimbleful or ten of sherry; fed them pate on crackers; gave them each a generous lump of old Canadian Cheddar; and politely asked them to reduce their horological mischief, especially to stop swinging on the plonker...I mean pendulum. We'll see what happens.
Paddy goes into a John Lewis department store and asks the shopkeeper, "Excuse me sir, but do you sell potato clocks?"
The shopkeeper looks at him and says, "Are you taking the ***? We sell cuckoo clocks, carriage clocks, grandfather clocks, alarm clocks... what the *** is a potato clock?"
And Paddy says, "I don't know, but I start my new job at nine tomorrow, and the wife said 'You'd better get a potato clock.'"
The shopkeeper looks at him and says, "Are you taking the ***? We sell cuckoo clocks, carriage clocks, grandfather clocks, alarm clocks... what the *** is a potato clock?"
And Paddy says, "I don't know, but I start my new job at nine tomorrow, and the wife said 'You'd better get a potato clock.'"
The other night stuey was invited out for a night with the guys. He told his OH that he would be home by midnight... "promise!"
Well, the hours passed quickly and the beer was going down way too easy. At 3am, drunk as a skunk, he headed across the snowy fields for home.
Just as he got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times. Quickly, he realised she'd probably wake up, so our stuey cuckooed another 9 times. He was really proud of himself for having such a rapid, witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.
The next morning his OH asked him what time he got in, and he told her 12 o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Got away with that one, stuey thought!
Then she told him that they needed a new cuckoo clock. When he asked her why she said, "Well, last night it cuckooed 3 times, then said, 'oh ***,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more.... then farted."
Well, the hours passed quickly and the beer was going down way too easy. At 3am, drunk as a skunk, he headed across the snowy fields for home.
Just as he got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times. Quickly, he realised she'd probably wake up, so our stuey cuckooed another 9 times. He was really proud of himself for having such a rapid, witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.
The next morning his OH asked him what time he got in, and he told her 12 o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Got away with that one, stuey thought!
Then she told him that they needed a new cuckoo clock. When he asked her why she said, "Well, last night it cuckooed 3 times, then said, 'oh ***,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more.... then farted."
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