Secret Santa crap.

[Bewlay Bros.]

I am going to a Christmas party whereby I have to purchase a present in some crappy secret Santa nonsense. It has to be funny and must cost no more than 5 pounds.

I have been elected to buy for a woman who is about 40 with a good sense of humour.

I am crap at buying any present, let alone this stupid thing.

Any ideas would be very welcome.

[whiffey]

If you can push your budget to �20 buy her an inflatable chair with a large thingy sticking up in the middle.

This is what I did anyway, it was for a bloke, but he adapted.

[LuBlu]

I once bought a bubble gum machine from BHS for a secret Santa. It went down very well, people thought I was trying to tell her to stop talking so much (I wasn't, but it went down well!!!).

That was only �5

[jane1098]

big lady knickers from marks & spencers.

[leg_end758]

small chocolate penises from anne summers
or i can shiop them from the sex boutique call it 7 euros ??

[The Builder]

Go to a toy or joke shop - get, for instance, a plastic turd - rubber spider- rubber bogies - smelly jelly - the silliest crap you can find - wrap them individually and put it all in a Chanel box, or a Gucci carrier bag. Give - and stand back :-)

[Bewlay Bros.]

It has to be �5, rules of the host evidently.

She is lady of above mass. I think large knickers may be offensive. And if not meant as a joke, her husband may question why I am buying her underwear.

[flolo]

Chocolate Willies definitely

[leg_end758]

7 euros is five pounds
xcurrent exchange rate 1.40 euros to the pound.

reef side that is lol

[society]

How about a whoopee cushion? It's available at most toy shops, and it's cheap.
http://www.comparestoreprices.co.uk/practical- jokes/unbranded-whoopee-cushion.asp

[cazzz1975]

I didnt know you worked wardy

[leg_end758]

society now ur ignorin me??

[Bewlay Bros.]

cazz two interesting points.

1) It is not a work party

2) I now work every morning in a school.

[weeal]

Orgasm keychain:
http://www.enjoy.co.uk/acatalog/Secret_Santa.h tml

Inflatable guitar or dribble glass:
http://www.sillyjokes.co.uk/occasion/christmas /secret-santa.html

As its 'secret' santa her husband wont know you bought em !!!

[beryllium]

Hi Wardy :)
I loved the finger symbols I was gifted from Secret Santa. Bizarre and lovely.

[Louisa 69]

They did that last year at our work. One of the women got a book titled " where do nudists keep their hankies" one of the guys got a dirty mag and a box of tissues. It was also on the �5 budget. It just something silly for a laugh.
Try anne summers there's lots of ideas for �5 and under.

[Beads]

i hate that secret santa cr@p too.

Sometimes in next you can get nice little stocking fillers for �5 or under. Good sense of humour or not, I'd play it safe, you never know.

[grasscarp]

What about Badedas for the bath. You can also get things like milk and honey bath salts. I think if you are spending money it might as well be something the lady can use and get some pleasure from. Sorry to be old fashioned on this one!

[cazzz1975]

with only a fiver to spend it would have to be a jokey gift unless you add a few quid yourself..but she might feel obliged to do the same back so that might be awkward

buy her a really nice box of chocs, or something aromatherapy related ? plenty of bargains at this time of year

[annie0000]

Bottle of wine - I hate getting useless crap - you pay �5 for something produced in some sweat shop and then it gets chucked into landfill.

Even if she doesn't like the wine, she can use it to take to a party or give to someone else as a present.

[annie0000]

p.s. - I am about 40 with a good sense of humour - I still want wine thanks.