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Looking For A Poem From Scotsman Weekend Magazine Please!

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MarkRyan | 20:14 Mon 20th Mar 2017 | Crosswords
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Looking for the poem from the Scotsman Weekend magazine dated 18/03/17, does anyone still have a copy? Cannot find it online or remember who wrote it. Thanks in advance.

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Thank you for getting back to me. Unfortunately it wasn't that one, was typed out in the magazine and mentioned love and fear.
I hope someone can help.
They think they've won many great battles in history,
Most wondrous at a place called Wembley,
Where the then Sports Answerbank champs were cut to pieces,
By big Jim365 and three of his nieces (inc AOG, mikey and Gromit)

They use words like dod, ken, broon and wee,
no bad is the ultimate thing to be,
A spider's a beastie, a child's a bairn
Och, it's an easy Minty language to learn

Their great socialists like Nicky Surgeon
Work very hard to make thirty percent to care again
But like the rest of the proletariat
I would ask Alex baby, where's the party at?

They claim Scots invented the modern age
TV, Telephone and the Pantomime stage
Then there's Douglas, the great Moocoo Presbyterian,
Who preaches AB's hell fire, for those who didn'a believe him.

The breadth of their culture is simply outstandin',
From Anna Asquith to today's Queen of Mean
There's Fife's mazie', "A woman's an Old Geezerbabe for a that."
Coming a very close second to Alba's "Chewin the fat."
McGonagall lives !

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