What is your favourite cracker joke?

[Rodge2]

Okay, it may be a bit early, but I like to get myself organized when it comes to cracker making. Suggestions? (clean ones)

[PokerMan]

What does the word minimum mean?
A very small mother
What's round and bad tempered?
A vicious circle
Why don't ducks tell jokes when they're flying?
Because they would quack up.
What do you get if you cross a stereo with a refrigerator?
Cool music
What must you know to be an auctioneer?
Lots
How do snails keep their shells shiny?
The use snail varnish
What do you get if you cross a skeleton and a detective?
Sherlock Bones
What do you get if you cross a stereo with a refrigerator?
Cool music
What must you know to be an auctioneer?
Lots
What does the carpet salesman give to his wife for Valentine's Day?
Rugs and kisses
What sort of bull doesn't have horns?
A bullfrog
What did the beaver say to the tree?
Nice gnawing you
Why did the birdie go to hospital?
To get a tweetment.
What did the dog get for Christmas?
A mobile bone
Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they go around in bunches
Which type of dog has no tail?
A hotdog
What kind of room has no windows or doors?
A mushroom
What do you call a penguin in the Sahara Desert?
Lost
Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
He wanted to win the no-bell prize
What does the word minimum mean?
A very small mother
Why don't you see penguins in Britain?
Because they're afraid of Wales
What do you call a one eyed dinosaur?
Do you think he saw us?
What goes oh, oh oh?
Santa walking backwards
What's round and bad tempered?
A vicious circle
What did Adam yell on the day before Christmas?
'It's Christmas Eve!'

[Booldawg]

Hands up who read that in its entirity

[rowanwitch]

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back.? a stick

[What-The-F-Man]

In the drunken haze that surrounds Christmas does any actually remember any of the cracker jokes? I can barely remember what day it is.

[marval]

What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A doyouthinkhesawus

What's the fastest thing in water?
A motor pike

What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
Auld Fang Syne

[grasscarp]

well poker man didnt read it, as he put the vicious circle joke in twice

[joeluke]

You obviously did then grass!

[askyourgran]

Ha Ha I like the boomerang one rowan.

[grasscarp]

of course! didnt everybody? some of them were good! This isnt a cracker joke, I told my husband about the bloke who got murdered on Sunday by his wife. (as he actually knew him) I said "His wife has murdered him". His response "Is he dead?" - well my husband is Italian .......

[Rodge2]

Ha HA. Marval - as 2 of the people I will be giving them to are blind, they will find the non-pc nature of your dinosaur joke hilarious! But I personally like the pike one.

What is grey and has a large trunk? A mouse going on holiday.

[marval]

Glad you liked them./

What is brown and has a large trunk?
A mouse coming back from holiday

[boxtops]

Pokerman's been ripping open his stock of last year's left over Christmas Crackers (or were these the ones bought early for this year, like wot I do?)