Football0 min ago
Funny interview/office terms and their real meanings
6 Answers
1."COMPETITIVE SALARY": We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
2."JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.
3."CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
4."MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
5."SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": Some time each night and some time each weekend.
6."DUTIES WILL VARY": Anyone in the office can boss you around.
7."MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": We have no quality control.
8."CAREER-MINDED": Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
9."APPLY IN PERSON": If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
10."NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE": We've filled the job; our call for resume is just a legal formality.
11."SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:" You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
12."PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST": You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
2."JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.
3."CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
4."MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
5."SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": Some time each night and some time each weekend.
6."DUTIES WILL VARY": Anyone in the office can boss you around.
7."MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": We have no quality control.
8."CAREER-MINDED": Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
9."APPLY IN PERSON": If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
10."NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE": We've filled the job; our call for resume is just a legal formality.
11."SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:" You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
12."PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST": You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
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13."REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS": You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
14."GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS": Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
15."I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION": I've used Microsoft Office.
16."I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE": I pilfer office supplies.
18."MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES": I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.
19."I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK": I blame others for my mistakes.
20."I'M PERSONABLE": I give lots of unsolicited personal advice.
22."I'M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL": I carry a Day-Timer.
23."I AM ADAPTABLE": I've changed jobs a lot.
24."I AM ON THE GO": I'm never at my desk.
25."I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED": The minute I find a better job, I'm outta here.
14."GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS": Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
15."I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION": I've used Microsoft Office.
16."I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE": I pilfer office supplies.
18."MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES": I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.
19."I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK": I blame others for my mistakes.
20."I'M PERSONABLE": I give lots of unsolicited personal advice.
22."I'M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL": I carry a Day-Timer.
23."I AM ADAPTABLE": I've changed jobs a lot.
24."I AM ON THE GO": I'm never at my desk.
25."I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED": The minute I find a better job, I'm outta here.
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