I'm upset

[4getmenot]

As some you know my bro is back home for a bit from overseas. Now I have done my best to be at home for him when he pops by and give him lifts when he needs them, anyway this weekend we were supposed to be going out all his mates and mine up the pub etc. I have told loads of people. The thing is my bro keeps getting very stressy for nothing. Anyway yesterday I msgd him just saying that not too many people back to mine as my bloke will be there so don't want to be too loud. Today he e-mailed me and said right not going out now so you can have all peace and quiet you want. I msgd back keeping calm and just asked y and he said 'well we said we could go back to yours, now you're saying no so I just figured I'll leave you to your power trip' I said I never said at any point no-one could come back but ok' I'm still going to go out as didn't want to cancel mates but explained to one that bro wasn't going out now. And she said 'yer he's text her to say he wasn't now as non of his mates were bothered'. So it just seems to me I'm getting it in the neck because he's upset his mates aren't coming out. I don't want to fall out with him before he goes home but he keeps stressing out for nothing.

[nat_84]

There's only one person on a "power trip" and it's not you.

Just go out and enjoy yourself, if he wants to sulk and be silly then let him. He's the one that will regret it and hopefully realise how petty he's being.

[whiskeysheri]

Hi, hun!

It sounds as though he's upset that his mates aren't making the effort to have the night out he wants before he goes away again and is taking it out on you because you're family. There's a saying about taking it out on the ones you love the most, isn't there? Something along those lines, anyway. He's probably not looking forward to leaving you all again, too.

Brothers, eh? ;)

[Octavius]

Sometimes when you go away abroad for a bit you do kinda expect a warm homecoming with marching bands, cheerleaders, majorettes and a mayoral welcome. Or at least your friends to rally around so that you feel you were missed and that they have lots of news for you, and to tell you how much everything has changed.

In reality nothing much changes since the people left behind are living the same lives you left behind.

Perhaps he is throwing a little tantrum as he didn�t get the �Heroes Welcome� he was expecting or hoping for.

[4getmenot]

he got a welcome oct but he's been here 3 weeks now and its like he never left. Hes now being arsy to my mate too. I at least havent said anything back and wont because its all just silly. I did say calm down and just come out and have a laugh but he thinks if he changes his mind he will look silly. Dont think my lil sis was even going to come out why cant he have a go at her

[Octavius]

He could be feeling stressed if he is going back soon, and probably now wants people rally around and cajole and convince him that his presence is essential for the evening to be any good.

I have a friend with a young family who works on the rigs, he works 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off, he gets your ordinary Sunday evening blues for about a week before he goes back offshore.

[whiskeysheri]

Try a Chinese burn; tell him to get over himself and drag him down the pub in a headlock, 4get. I'm sure it is just that, that he wants everyone to make a song and dance about his leaving again. Stubborn sods, those bruvs.

[karmgirl]

Are you putting him up 4get?

How old is he?

[redcrx]

oct, he was only gone 8 weeks to begin with and has been back for 3 weeks now with no sign of him returning to his wife as yet, hes still sorting visa out (he shouldve done this before he went in first place but he cant see that)

4get,
Go out and enjoy your weekend, hes a prat, i think hes getting it in the neck from his mrs and is taking it out on us here. Ive had a few runins with him too because hes telling me when your bringing him over to mine and couldnt really care less that my weekends are busy.

[Octavius]

Oh I have misunderstood, I thought he was a serving soldier with overseas deployment. (er....don;t ask me why!)

In that case, do as whiskey says. No mercy.

[redcrx]

LOL no Oct, he married an american, they lived here for a few years and then sold up and moved to North Carolina. He didnt finalise his Visa so had to come back again to sort it whilst his poor wife is left in a strange city all alone and trying to get a job.

[MiniN]

brothers, eh?!

go out and have a good time. if you speak to him again just tell him you don't want to be arguing when you only have a limited time with him.

[karmgirl]

Tell him to find another place to stay if he can't live by your rules.

[4getmenot]

I would give you all stars but cant be bothered now :-) but you know I'm grateful for all answers. karmgirl no he's staying at my mums. And yes when he comes to yours redcrx I will be bringing him over, when our aunty was going to meet us I had to keep my weekend on hold because me driving again. And I have done as much as I can to help. Although the other week he invited me to a party where I had to drive so basically for a lift and I said I wanted to spend a bit of time with my bloke as I had been going out with bro alot and he said 'does he go back to america in a few weeks' I think I will try one last time to get him to come out.

[~Wingnut~]

Aww I feel for you 4get. I haven't seen my sister for over 4 1/2 years since she moved to Oz and they are due to come over to visit in Oct for a month. If she had said and done the same as your Bro I would be upset too.
I think the others are right, he's upset cos he doesn't appear to be centre of attention anymore. that and the fact it sounds like he is getting it in the ear from his wife, my husband most certainly would be if he had left me in a strange city thousands of miles from him all cos he hadn't finalised his visa! If he hadn't done everything to try and get it done asap I would be starting to think is he ever coming back!
Sounds like you saying about not too many coming back was the last straw for him and instead of dealing with whats really troubleing him he has chosen to take it out on you. Leave him to sulk but make sure he is aware he has upset you over something that isn't your fault.

:o)

[4getmenot]

Well I tried on elast time and said come on my mates were all coming out and had made effort for him and don�t want to be let down. He just said �No they just want a night out, end of� Well at least I tried he can carry on if he likes, doesn�t mean I wont be upset but up to him

[redcrx]

exactly, just let him sort himself out now xx

[MiniN]

how old is your brother?

he sounds like a sulky teenager!

[redcrx]

pmsl hes 33

[4getmenot]

I just said - If I had done something wrong I�d understand but I haven�t. You cancelled for no reason, I said people could stay and even if I hadn�t let anyone well its my flat so don�t see whats wrong there at all. But fact is I was allowing people to come back just be a bit quieter. I don�t know whats upset you but if you want to pop round and sort it out later you can like an adult.