a vampire walks into a pub and asks for a pint of blood, the pub owner says"we dont serve blood in here only beer mate sorry" so the next day the vampire comes in again and asks for a pint of hot water and the pub owner says "whats going on mate yesterday you came in and asked for a pint of blood and now today you want a pint of hot water" the vampire replies "well i've found a t@mpon outside and i just fancy a brew"
After the vampire left the pub he was hit by a car driven by two nuns, as he was holding onto the windscreen wipers hissing at the nuns, sister Mary asked Sister Theresa what she should do? Sister Theresa replied "show him your Cross" so Sister Mary points to Mr vampire and shouts "Oi you, get off my fcuking car or I'll punch you"