some of my favourite jokes

Jemisa | 23:10 Wed 11th May 2011 | Jokes

6 Answers

some of my favourite jokes...
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Yoko Ono has been signed up for the next series of 'I'm a celebrity, get
me out of here!' Show bosses think she will do really well since she's been
living off a dead beatle for the last thirty years
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I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen, ungrateful
bleeders, all I said was, 'hurry up for f**** sake, some of us have got
homes to go to!'
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Women should be like golf caddies, either holding your balls or getting
your bloody tee ready!
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Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching tv when I heard my wife's
voice from the kitchen, 'what you like for dinner my love, chicken, beef or
lamb?'
I said, 'Thank you, I'll have chicken please'
She replied, 'You're having soup you fat ????, -I was talking to the cat!'

A Scottish wife

Three farmers were eating breakfast at the diner.

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Jemisa

Question Author

Got myself a new Jack Russel puppy, he's mainly black and brown with a
small white patch, so I've named him Birmingham .
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In an indian restaurant last night having a meal, waiter came over and
says, 'Curry Ok?'
I said, 'go on then, just one song then bugger off'
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I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn
cocktail. I looked round and this bloke shouts, 'That's just for starters!'
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Firemen have just rescued an Irish man with his penis stuck in a condom
machine. They asked him what happened and he said, 'the sign says, insert
£2 and push knob in'.

jem