Today

caslass | 22:45 Sat 08th May 2010 | ChatterBank

24 Answers

Today is the 1st anniversary of the death of my only child. I'm not looking for sympathy just understanding of posts I made when i was angry. Thats all.

another day in Paradise...lol

I'm drunk and melancholy

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poodicat

Evening caslass,sorry too hear that

sherrardk

So sorry to hear this - cannot begin to understand how you are managing (don't usually 'speak' to you but wanted to be here for you), x

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brenda

caslass----am thinking about you with love and sincerity. Brenda.

pussnboots

Aww sorry, I know how you feel. I lost a child as well. xx

LadyMelina

I am so sorry to hear this caslass. I cannot have children so mourn also.
It is hard to walk amoung families and children. I dont think I will ever get over it.
I hope you have an understanding, supportive partner to help you. xxx

caslass

Question Author

Thankyou for your thoughts. I know i upset a lot of people on here when i vented my anger to the circumstances of his death, but the hurt goes on.

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David Black

I don't think anyone would have anything other than total sympathy with your plight.

caslass

Question Author

nuggets. At least you made me smile. UP THE HANMMERS

caslass

Question Author

David. you clearly did not read the posts at the time.

marval

Today is a sad day for you, you will never forget your child. It understandable that you were angry. My thoughts are with you, and may each passing year begin to heal your wounds.

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Mr Veritas

Hello there,
Like others I cannot imagine what it must be like to lose a child,and even worse an only child too.
Although maybe I can imagine it,but it is a thing so terrible and scarring that I want to turn away from it,and not look it in the face.
I must be frank and say when I read your question I didn't want to reply.
Why?
Because I can feel the hurt and grief that you are still going through,and I didn't want to suffer the feeling too.
However,I quickly realised that this was incredinly selfish of me,so I am writing this in the hope that sharing your grief (yes and anger) with others may help to spread the weight of this terrible burden.
My wife and I are very lucky that in our extended family(four children and 6 grandchildren and so on) we have never had to suffer something as life changing, and possibly soul destroying as you have.
I shall not try to give you the usual trite and oft repeated words of (possible) comfort,such as it gets better,or be happy for your child would not want you to be sad,you have no doubt heard them all before.
There is no explanation for this,any way(anger,tears,seclusion etc) that help you are your own affair,and you must(and can) deal with this in your own way.
The hurt(as you feel it now) WILL go.The memories (good and bad) will not.
We are vulnerable (terribly so) as human beings,but we can repair given time and support.The very fact that you are understanding of angry posts shows (to me) that the process of healing and reconciliation has started.

Mr Veritas

I think this poem says it all:~
Christina Rossetti
Remember

REMEMBER me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

and now I am signing off,as I am welling up!

Mr Veritas

Sorry,that should read
"The very fact that you are asking understanding of angry posts shows"