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Hedkandi | 18:03 Tue 14th Mar 2006 | Body & Soul
7 Answers
Basically I really am beginning to have feelings for this woman I work with and am uncertain as to how she feels about me. She says she's not gay (I'm bi), but she's kinda been giving me certain signals towards me. Once we were in a meeting and I said I'd take on some work for her, and she said she was so happy she could snog me (twice) and started putting her hand on my hand. Other people noticed in the office as well and thought that she had some kind of thing for me. Recently she's stepped up a gear esp since we've moved desks and offices. Last week she told me how much she loves me, How she wants me near her in the office so she can touch me, complimenting me saying I have "a really nice aura about me, and how I must have a lot of friends because I (me) always have a smiley, easy going nature about me" and she just went on about how wonderful I am, how Im always a good worker and how she could kiss me sometimes bcos i'm so wonderful (something to that effect, I recall about the kissing bit but was zoned out on all this at the time as you can imagine!!) etc etc! Then she said she could see "my pretty face" from her desk but it wasn't the same as sitting next to me, and how she'd have to throw "love darts" to me to get my attention!Then she kept saying how she wanted me to sit in front of her (or next to her) and jokingly kept looking upset, then looking at me for ages like she wanted some kind of reaction!
She's also said she'd look after me when my line-manager leaves next month saying "No one will mess with you, bcos they'll have to go through me first" Today she commented on how I was wearing "sexy black lingerie" (I was wearing a black bra and the strap must've been showing) and asked if there was anyone I was trying to impress! I really don't know what she's playing at, but I'm really starting to have feelings for her and don't want her to muck me about. She says she's not gay, but do you think she's starting to question her sexuality?

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Nope, I think she's just messing you around.

Most of the things you mention just a turn of phrase and have no meaning to them.
I've a feeling she may fall into that category of women who, when faced with a lesbian, automatically assume they're going to fancy them. Sounds a bit like sexual harassment to me as well. If she says she's not gay, I'd stay away as it sounds like she's game playing, maybe hoping you'll tell her you do fancy her and i bet that if you did that she'd soon change her tune and probably accuse you of harassment. Be careful.

I agree with shazbang and think she's playing games with you. I think she will be pleasant only as long as you allow her to indulge her manipulative games.


My advice would be to consider her a work colleague only and find partners out of work. Sorry to be negative, but for some reason I have a funny feeling about this woman, though I hope I'm wrong, for your sake.
Best wishes.

Hello Hedkandi,


I agree with everyone else's answer. Be very wary of her as she is probabley wanting you to fancy her.


Great advice from Drusilla1S that you need to find partners outside of work.


Be careful.


K :-)

why dont u tell her back that u like her aswell, and maybe ask her out for a meal sometime. then at least you will know wether she's for real or not. good luck. and in the meantime just accept the compliments but try not to get too hung up over her.
I also agree with the others in this thread, and would add that the office romance can easily turn the office into a nightmare.

perhaps she is nervous and new to all this and doesn't know how to behave. she is being a bit forward, but perhaps she thinks she has too be.


although as others have said she may think lesbians 'are silly' and is taking the mick by winding you up.


it could also be a bet - check out other peoples reactions to her behaviour and look for signs of 'in jokes'


she could also want you to be so uncomfortable and leave...


without actually seeing this for ourselves its hard to judge.

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