Christmas Is Different For The Childless

[rowanwitch]

Something missing and it always seemed pointless bothering once I knew I wouldn't have children, then reinforced by then not having grandchildren., All you have left is effectively a weekend where you are expected to fit in with other people's idea of fun.
So I know that for some Christmas is very much about what could have, or should have been and always will be.

[Theland]

Something missing I guess if you buy into the tinsel advertisements that swamp us incessantly.
My eldest son, 42, married and no children, but he and his wife dote on their two dogs and two cats.
Yes, he would have liked children, but it doesn't stop him enjoying family life to the full at Xmas.
Only two of my six have children, nine between them.
The others like my eldest hold similar views.

[Mamyalynne]

I should imagine it it totally different, when I was small I had many Aunts and Uncles - one childless Aunt would say 'None to make you laugh,none to make you cry'.

To me at that time, being young I simply thought it a sensible response, looking back now I do wonder if
her heart was screaming as she said those words.

I'll never know.

[rowanwitch]

Mamya, it's strange, your face smiles but something inside gets chipped away, and
Theland it's one time when all the pets in the world can't make the sense of not belonging to away.

[Arksided]

I don't have children but never had a sense of missing, who's to miss I heven't met them yet, I love being an Uncle to my Nieces however I will miss them this year as dictated to by the common sense rule.

[burlyshirley]

Well I can honestly say I've never minded not having kids. Christmas has always been magical to me, even now when I still miss my parents so badly, I can still feel the 'magic' creeping in from time to time. I feel sad for those who do regret not having children, or couldn't, but from my point of view, we are not all the same. Of course I don't know how I'll manage when I'm very old and frail (a few years away yet!), but then again some elderly folk who have kids never see them anyway.

[jno]

who's expecting you to fit in with anything? You have to, I think, if you have kids, but adults can be as unchristmassy as they please.

Back about 1980 (and childless) we went to Istanbul for "Christmas", which they didn't have there. We just carried on as on a normal holiday, saw the sights, wandered the streets, went shopping in the bazaar. I doubt you could do it these days, non-Christian countries everywhere stage "Christmas" for tourists and double their prices, but it was highly enjoyable.

[LadyCG]

I must admit Christmas has an entirely different meaning for me now. Rather than get excited when opening my presents, I am so excited to watch the little one open his.

He had an Iggle Piggle for his first Christmas, at 10 month of age. He smiled from ear to ear and my heart burst.

However, even without kids, Christmas is for everyone and you should make it your own :-). Your fun counts too.

[woofgang]

I am another childless person who has always enjoyed christmas in their own way. I had a bit of a bad time when I got to menopause and no children yet turned into no children ever but I suspect it was hormone driven. I don't (and have never) fitted into anybody else's idea of fun regardless of when it was.
I am sorry for your hurt though.

[pixie374]

I can see... so far, we have been lucky in always having at least one under 5 around. I don't think I would bother otherwise. And I doubt it will last forever.
I do feel for those who have lost people, or "never had" people.... sometimes things just rub it right in.

[MartinMillar]

I kinda get what you mean.
Also because you are childless you are not exited to take up any of the leave quota by those that do.
I actually had 1 colleague a few years ago ask why is was taking leave when I didn’t have any children so nothing to organise.
I really feel my inability to have children at Christmas as it’s everywhere

[rowanwitch]

No nieces and nephews either, and always the one expected to do the bulk of the organising and prep because "you haven't got kids to worry about, ". Being told I was selfish not having a family even while I was feeling *** from fertility drugs. Having to sit while countless photos of cousins children were passed around, while my mother glared at me and told I was rude when I said sorry but I really have seen enough. Being told repeatedly what a tragedy it was that my sister had an early miscarriage , (I had three very late we just hadn't said anything )and that she would have been a wonderful mum, but that I was somehow deliberately denying her grandchildren. So when I hear friends gushing on and on about how wonderful it is to see their little faces, and how much they are spending etc etc I pretend to understand when I haven't got a bleeping clue.

[burlyshirley]

I have been around kids at Christmas over the years LCG and I agree it is lovely to see their excitement and I can truly imagine your joy at watching your little one. Yes I agree we can all have fun if we put our mind to it x

[Old_Geezer]

It's still an occasion. Up to your decision whether you do anything different to what you do the rest of the year. Go make a snowman ;-)

[Sqad]

rowan, come on now, come to the squad's for something to eat, a few laughs, my long drawn out reminiscences which Mrs sqad has heard hundreds ot times and could repeat sad verbatim..........and then perhaps?
Our best Christmas's have been on cruises mainly in the Far East.......no kids.
This will be a difficult Christmas for you my love and I wish I could help in some way.........but I can't except that I will be thinking about you.........

[rowanwitch]

F me, where's the real Sqad gone.... Thanks for that

[ladybirder]

I remember my eldest son's first Christmas, he would have been 11 months old. The biggest present we got was a large black toy monkey which we sat in the corner of his cot so it would be the first thing he would see when he woke up.
Christmas morning comes and we were woken by a child's screams of terror as he cringed away from his present trying his best to get out of the cot. We felt terrible:-(

[Sqad]

rowan.....what was that F standing for lol ?
Message from Mrs sqad:

" rowan Christmas is just a meal and an unnecessary one"

I haven't mentioned the threesome to her yet!

[rowanwitch]

With my track record you could end up sidelined.... Careful what you dream of.

[wolf63]

I used to and visit my parents on Christmas day - but I found it stressful and was always glad to get home again.

They have died and my brother lives in a country called England so it was just me and the Cats. However ...

I am looking forwards to it being over - I don't get lonely but I hate the fact that the country seems to stop. This year is mega-weird and Xmas is making it weirder and weirder.

[AuntPollyGrey]

My sister has no children and its her choice I don't even think she likes them. At Christmas they go away skiing usually and have glamerous parties with like-minded couples or those that have nannies. She says its their 'Tradition' to do how they like.
Our Christmasses were out of this world when the kids were young, with Grandparents still alive, now its different. I've just got a video sent of two of my grandchildren putting the presents under the tree that I sent them last week. You can see the magic in their eyes they are so excited.