Home & Garden4 mins ago
Cyberbullying At The Worst Level
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A bit close to home as it was on an open Q&A site. We're lucky on here as the site is very well monitored. Should all sites enjoy the same amount of editing we have on here or is it a case of 'if you can't stand the heat' ?
A bit close to home as it was on an open Q&A site. We're lucky on here as the site is very well monitored. Should all sites enjoy the same amount of editing we have on here or is it a case of 'if you can't stand the heat' ?
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Bullies thrive on creating a mob to join in get at their target. Online activity that is anonymous will give these people more opportunity.
However the preparedness for people to join in with bullies is astonishing.
I believe that what's happening online is simply an extension of what people are prepared to do anyway, but magnified in speed and number because of the technology.
In the case of the poor child, it is highly likely that children at her school were actively joining in and so whether she looked at the forum or not, she would feel unable to get away from the hate and victimisation.
I cannot help wondering where her parents were and why she couldn't turn to them early on and say what was happening.
BTW within the last 20 mins someone on this forum has made a snidey comment about the facial features of a woman on TV. Let's see who else joins in, and good folk, tell me what the difference is between this and cyberbullying.
However the preparedness for people to join in with bullies is astonishing.
I believe that what's happening online is simply an extension of what people are prepared to do anyway, but magnified in speed and number because of the technology.
In the case of the poor child, it is highly likely that children at her school were actively joining in and so whether she looked at the forum or not, she would feel unable to get away from the hate and victimisation.
I cannot help wondering where her parents were and why she couldn't turn to them early on and say what was happening.
BTW within the last 20 mins someone on this forum has made a snidey comment about the facial features of a woman on TV. Let's see who else joins in, and good folk, tell me what the difference is between this and cyberbullying.
Ummmm I note you always disagree with me but that's your perogative.
I have a teenage Daughter and all I say to her is if there is anybody posting disturbing stuff whilst she is on the internet let me know, or turn it off,which she does.
All it need is folks to take some responsibility...very simple in my opinion.
I have a teenage Daughter and all I say to her is if there is anybody posting disturbing stuff whilst she is on the internet let me know, or turn it off,which she does.
All it need is folks to take some responsibility...very simple in my opinion.
I was wondering when this thread would come up.
We try our best here to avoid this kind of bullying, and I think we do a pretty good job (bar the odd patches of "weak coverage" mentioned by Jno).
It's important to remember that we work because we're a "community" - whereas ask.fm relies on other social networks to spread your questions/answer.
The moderation only works here because you're all so good at keeping the place in check. I don't know how it has happened but we seem to have collected most of the sensible people from the internet in one place (maybe take the word sensible with a pinch of salt).
I'd like to thank you all for ensuring this is a community where you can feel safe (except in the MOFC).
Happy to answer any questions - we've thought about this subject a lot before so hopefully will be able to offer some worthwhile thoughts on the matter!
We try our best here to avoid this kind of bullying, and I think we do a pretty good job (bar the odd patches of "weak coverage" mentioned by Jno).
It's important to remember that we work because we're a "community" - whereas ask.fm relies on other social networks to spread your questions/answer.
The moderation only works here because you're all so good at keeping the place in check. I don't know how it has happened but we seem to have collected most of the sensible people from the internet in one place (maybe take the word sensible with a pinch of salt).
I'd like to thank you all for ensuring this is a community where you can feel safe (except in the MOFC).
Happy to answer any questions - we've thought about this subject a lot before so hopefully will be able to offer some worthwhile thoughts on the matter!
All those people saying "just switch it off" -- it doesn't work like that. Even if you walk away from bullying at school, the insults bullies can shout at you can stay with you long after their sound fades away, and for some the insults are seared on your memory for a long tie. And it is the same online, once you read those words you might never truly forget them. If you are in a vulnerable state, for whatever reason, words can cut so deeply that you will feel worse and worse. Switching off and walking away only works if you were never going to be that affected in the first place.
I think it's likely then that this abuse went on for a long time, and the other thing about it is that she would likely have felt compelled to keep returning to the site. "This time it will be different, they'll be nice about me," she may have told herself -- only it wasn't different. This is speculation but it's based somewhat on personal experience. Some people just can't help but return to a place which will cause them pain. Maybe if it's gone on long enough the pain is the only thing that defines you, or something terrible like that.
There are also heartwarming stories of people declaring their intention to commit suicide, or self-harm, on the internet and those who read about it managing to find a way to bring that to the attention of people who can stop the suicide, or post messages that can encourage them to stop. For all the vicious nastiness of trolls and others, there are some who do care. In that respect the internet is just real life magnified and happening a lot faster.
I think it's likely then that this abuse went on for a long time, and the other thing about it is that she would likely have felt compelled to keep returning to the site. "This time it will be different, they'll be nice about me," she may have told herself -- only it wasn't different. This is speculation but it's based somewhat on personal experience. Some people just can't help but return to a place which will cause them pain. Maybe if it's gone on long enough the pain is the only thing that defines you, or something terrible like that.
There are also heartwarming stories of people declaring their intention to commit suicide, or self-harm, on the internet and those who read about it managing to find a way to bring that to the attention of people who can stop the suicide, or post messages that can encourage them to stop. For all the vicious nastiness of trolls and others, there are some who do care. In that respect the internet is just real life magnified and happening a lot faster.
@ Ab Editor - Sorry, being dim. Whats MOFC?
And I am still more than a little confused by this story, as it has been presented to date. School spokespeople and close friends describe as a warm, lively, humorous and popular individual. How does this square with someone taking their life because they were being bullied online? And I am a complete and utter layperson when it comes to pyscho-analysis, but surely- surely- a depression so profound as to prompt someone to take their own life does not happen overnight? This was something chronic and long-term, so how come there had been no conversation with parents and friends?
I just do not get it- and its so tragic that someone so young can decide to take their own life.
And I am still more than a little confused by this story, as it has been presented to date. School spokespeople and close friends describe as a warm, lively, humorous and popular individual. How does this square with someone taking their life because they were being bullied online? And I am a complete and utter layperson when it comes to pyscho-analysis, but surely- surely- a depression so profound as to prompt someone to take their own life does not happen overnight? This was something chronic and long-term, so how come there had been no conversation with parents and friends?
I just do not get it- and its so tragic that someone so young can decide to take their own life.
@ Umm Ahh, thanks for the clarification. Yes, I accept that she might have been just that,prior to the bullying - but if that was the case, why did her friends, when interviewed, not say that, or the school, or even her parents.
I am probably being unduly nitpicking, but bits of the story as has been presented in the media just do not seem to stack up for me...
I am probably being unduly nitpicking, but bits of the story as has been presented in the media just do not seem to stack up for me...
Its very sad, and whilst the cyberbullying was most certainly a likley contributor to this poor girls suicide, I can't help thinking that the tendencies were likely to have already been there.
Every 1 second, a teenager in a western society ties to commit suicide. Years ago, teenagers were topping themselves after listening to ACDC records in reverse and heavy metal music was blamed for a number of deaths. In the 1980s there was a link between suicide and the playthings of the time, personal computers, VCR's and stereos, citing a move to a technocratic society as being insensitivite to human emotion causing an increased sense of hopelessness. These days its the internet and the lonely isolated detachment that can result from the elation of getting lots of attention that suddenly turns sour, just on the whim of an anonymous freakazoid who's sole purpose in life is to demean the individual.
Young people of every generation seem to be taking setbacks harder than the generations before them did, first turning to drugs or alcohol and then turning to suicide as the last step in an accelerated process of breakdown.
That said, the Ab Editor does a wonderful balanced - moderate - job.
Every 1 second, a teenager in a western society ties to commit suicide. Years ago, teenagers were topping themselves after listening to ACDC records in reverse and heavy metal music was blamed for a number of deaths. In the 1980s there was a link between suicide and the playthings of the time, personal computers, VCR's and stereos, citing a move to a technocratic society as being insensitivite to human emotion causing an increased sense of hopelessness. These days its the internet and the lonely isolated detachment that can result from the elation of getting lots of attention that suddenly turns sour, just on the whim of an anonymous freakazoid who's sole purpose in life is to demean the individual.
Young people of every generation seem to be taking setbacks harder than the generations before them did, first turning to drugs or alcohol and then turning to suicide as the last step in an accelerated process of breakdown.
That said, the Ab Editor does a wonderful balanced - moderate - job.
Even had she turned off the internet permanently her school friends (and enemies) would tell her what had been posted about her.
Or they'd copy and paste in to texts and emails.
School bullying was bad enough in my day but at least one could escape it at then end of the school day. Now it seems to be 24/7
Or they'd copy and paste in to texts and emails.
School bullying was bad enough in my day but at least one could escape it at then end of the school day. Now it seems to be 24/7
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