Could you adopt a Chardonnay?

[B00]

http://www.dailymail....ystal-Chardonnay.html

Was reading this earlier, and I'd like to say that if ever I was serious about adopting a child, I wouldn't let a simple thing like their name prevent me from thinking about it. But after reading the horrific examples of Gemma-Mai, Courtney-Mai, Alexia-Mai, Lily-Mai, Shania-Rae further down the page, the snob in me came rushing to the fore and thought, "no no NO, I couldn't have a child of mine called that". It really is a social stigma isn't it being landed with a name so bad?

What's the solution? Going back to the days where the birth parents had no say in the upbringing of their child, therefore no say in their names?" Getting over our inbred snobbery for such names and thinking " a child, is a child, is a child" no matter what name they've been dumped with?

[jno]

I'm with B00 on this. Giving a baby a name is a definite rite of passage, part of the way families are formed; people choose carefully (even if they call her Chardonnay, they'll have chosen it carefully). If you think Tallulah Does The Hula In Hawaii [real name] is a horrible label, but you weren't allowed to change it, then you'd be more likely to look elsewhere.

Is that really in the child's best interests? Keeping your original name and staying with junkie parents is better than getting a new name and a new family who want you?

(Yes, yes, I know many people who have their babies adopted are not junkies; but those aren't the ones I'm talking about.)

[ludwig]

It's funny, I was discussing this very subject yesterday with my two daughters, Stella and Guinness.

[jno]

is Guinness the stout one?

[ludwig]

:-)

[woofgang]

Again i think it depends if the child is old enough to know their name or not. If they do know what they are called, I imagine that it could be pretty painful to suddenly be called something else no matter how much their other circumstances improve at the same time.
However, even in birth families where the name is carefully chosen, children often end up being called something else, ether by their own doing or because its what their friend do to their name (Caz Jez, Maz) and so on.
At the end of the day, if you are so desperate for a child, would you honestly, honestly let a name stand in the way?

[woofgang]

Toes, where do you get your definition of middle class from??

[jno]

it depends whether you see this as a buyer's or seller's market, woofgang. The question I'd be asking is: if it's public policy to get as many babies into happy families as possible, why put obstacles in the way of potential adopters?

[woofgang]

In principle i agree jno, just slightly dubious about an adopter who would be put off by a child's name.

[woofgang]

Agreed Woof, I am sure that most of the people who adopt, are not middle classed, but of those that are many will send their children to private schools, even here in the "poor" area of Hants lol, lol, lol.

I just cant follow what you say.
My contention is that the majority of adoptive parents WILL be middle class and that of that majority, the majority WILL NOT be sending their children to private schools...you seem to be saying something different.

[flump1]

A child is a gift and if you get one already named...so what ? It would not change the way most childless people I know from adopting. Those people in the article don't deserve children.

[woofgang]

Most of the middle class folk I know cant afford private schools for their children, hence my confusion.

[woofgang]

and again I say that if a child is old enough to know his or her name, then changing it could be a very cruel thing to do....I just realised that all the "awful names mentioned in the article are girls' names. Do boys not get called "awful" names or are they not put into care?

[Frank97]

When I was adopted my name was changed to that of my new families choosing, it has never bothered me in the slightest. I have never attempted any contact with my birth mother as I'm just not interested, in fact it was only last year that I learnt what my original name was.

[snags]

B00... before your dealings with Deed Poll were you a Merlot or Gewürztraminer? ;-p

[dzug2]

Very much a tongue in cheek answer, but if they've spelt Chardonnay right then yes I'd consider it

(There was some statistic a few years back from the Registrars Office that 60% of those who wanted to give their child that name couldn't spell it) OK I'm making that precise figure up but it was alarmingly high

Glad to see that everyone on here can spell it.

A more serious answer - if I was in the adoption 'market', which I'm not - it wouldn't be a factor

[woofgang]

When I was adopted my name was changed to that of my new families choosing, it has never bothered me in the slightest. I have never attempted any contact with my birth mother as I'm just not interested, in fact it was only last year that I learnt what my original name was.

Can i ask how old you were? Did you "know" your name?