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Unattractive partners.

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Bewlay Bros | 23:06 Sun 13th Jan 2008 | Body & Soul
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I hear quite often that people say it would not matter if their partner was unattractive. Qualities such as warmth and personality are much more important. These sentiments tend to come from women, but certainly not unknown amongst the stronger sex as well.

However my point is, would anybody admit they have been out with, or indeed still with a person who, lets face it, is pig ugly? But there inner charm is so delightful it really does not matter.

A bit of a Shallow Hal as such.

Whilst I would consider myself fairly liberal, I do not believe I have ever had, nor ever been attracted to a dog. Granted, super models do not fall at my feet, but all have been passable.

Have you ever been out with an elephant man?
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I have to admit and in a way am a bit ashamed to say that i have often thought about people in the past that have a great personality that 'only if you were a bit better looking', although i dont suppose it's that bad cuz you do after all have to be physically attracted to some degree for it to work,
i thought my hubby was quite minging when we first got drunkedly together, now after 7 yrs i reckon he's the sexiest man alive!
I have never been out with Joseph Merrick but the men I go out with are attractive in my eyes. They may not necessarily be attractive in other peoples eyes though.
For me there has to be some sort of physical attraction. I honestly couldn't date anyone i wasn't attracted too. Not even if he was loaded.
I know most say looks aren't everything and all that but lets face it, if your gonna be with someone for any length of time your gonna have to do "the deed" and for that you need to fancy them, surely that includes looks. Does in my book anyway.

In answer to your question, no i have never been out with an elephant man.
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I've been with one or two 'ten-to-two'ers when I was a lot younger, and had a relationship with a girl i wouldn't consider pretty.

But when it came down to it anyone I spent real time with I did consider attractive.

That said, I've seen WifeSwap on tv, and there's someone for everyone!
what is ugly to one person, is beautiful to another.
If you told someone that their other half is ugly, they would look at you in horror.
My best friend's boyfriend is what I term an unattractive person.
But she cannot see that!!
But he does have a great personality and she only comes alive when she is with him!!!
But you said I was beautiful whickerman :-(

No I couldn't have a relationship with someone who I wasn't physically attracted to. Whilst they (sadly for me) might not have looked like Johnny Depp, none of them made small children scream.
i was seeing an elephan man for a while. he was so ugly, but i kinda liked him as a bloke so i overlooked it. turned out he was outrageously possesive and when i tried to end it he locked me in his car by central locking and drove round like a hoon so i couldnt escape. then he started by stalking me, waiting for me to finish my bar shifts at night or leave my friends - he'd be waiting somewhere. progressing to threatening friends, a half hearted suicide attempt by jumping out of his first floor bedroom window (**** doh!) and constant stalking me and putting my parents through hell with worry for about 2 years. and had to take him to court twice cos he ignored the first injunction. so actually, no i havent been out with an elephant man, cos as you say the elephant man has hidden charm. only the friends i knew then know who he is. im too ashamed to even point him out now.
Im with funnygirl on this, looks are a personal thing and whilst there are more than a few ladies who enjoy gazing at johnny depp yet I find him a bit stomach churning.

What you regard as beautiful another man would think "minger" I have only ever dated people that I have that sparky connection with, its a mixture of looks and personality that I go for.

just like a man who adores tess daly yet finds nigella lawson repugnant. no one is wrong, everyone is different.
Beauty is, literally in the eyes of the beholder, and I don't necessarily think that ANY of us go for looks alone. If you fancy someone, initially it may because of how they physically appeal, but then you find other attributes as well. If a person just goes for aesthetic qualities, then I think they're very shallow., but it's each to their own. It's said we're subconsciously drawn to partners who'd help to produce good offspring, and that we also tend to like people who resemble ourselves, but this is the diversity of attraction. One man's meat, and all that.
When you are born blessed with Johnny Depp looks, charisma, sexual magnetism, and achieved a wealthy lifestyle - you attract all sorts. I�ve had Bertie's share of allsorts. I can�t say I have been with the elephant man, although they might be saying it now.
I confess I am a total body fascist where the oppoiste sex are concerned - but i am not proud of it.

I am grateful that women as a rule are less concerned about looks - having morphed from 'Woody Allen' into 'Loyd Grossman' as I have aged, I have much to be grateful for in the ladies who see beyond the 'beauty is skin deep' scenario.

That said, my last serious girlfriend before the present Mrs Hughes was in all ways a godess - pubs full of men would fall silent as we walked in, she was that stunning. But, after a few weekd of being with her, I became almost 'used' to her attraction, and although I appreciated she was gorgeous, she no longer made my pulse race with her looks - it was down to her lovely personality, and her dynamite bedroom demeanor that I found irrisitable.

I always live in hope that, God forbid, I ever become single again, there is an attractive woman out there who is not the shallow looks-obsessed person I am, and will fall for me for my inner self, which is certainly worth looking for.
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When going on a blind date in my youth ,I remember saying to my friend on very many occasions - don't think much of yours!

I think that about somes it up. Looks do matter, whatevever anyone says., but I agree that we all have different ideas of what makes a person attractive.

Before I was married I went out with a model who was physically perfect - but had nowt in the brain department...
I once had a sailor penfriend, stationed abroad, whom I corresponded with for a long time. He never sent a picture, but described himself as 6ft 2in tall, blond with blue eyes, and sounded gorgeous. Eventually he came home on leave and phoned me, and we arranged a date. I took hours getting ready, and when the doorbell rang, I rushed to greet him in great anticipation. There he stood clutching gifts and flowers for me, and yes, he was 6ft 2in, blond with blue eyes, but there was just one snag. He looked as though he had been thrown together. He was AWFUL! I had to invite him in, but once I'd parked him on the sofa, I ran into the kitchen to ask my mum what I should do. I was desperate not to be seen with him - but she said I must go!! I went out with him for a month, until his leave was over, and always suggested going to places where no one knew me. He was a nice person - but I'm afraid to say - and ashamed to say - looks do count. Most people aren't drop-dead gorgeous, but if they aren't at least half decent, we never really take the trouble to meet them, do we?
I'm with a guy with a fantastic personality who bends over backwards for me, and whilst I find him attractive, I know many probably wouldn't as he's a little overweight. But I really dont mind that, because he makes me feel wonderful and has a winning smile.
what about when you are with a " what you would consider "is a good looking man but find that he is boring, uncaring, thoughtless and full of himself.... that can be very unattractive, and those good, sexy looks soon fade into insignficance.. i knew a guy with a lovely sense of humour, full of fun and very generous but was " sorry to say" ugly, and had awful teeth.... he became a good friend... guess you cant have it all....
A lot of women believe Dean Gaffney is sex on legs. That at least, gives me some hope.

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