Movie cliches that wouldn't work

[Mattk]

I just watched 'Man on a Ledge' and they used the tried and tested movie cliche of clipping a still photo onto a security camera to fool the guards. Surely this would never work as the camera is focused 10 foot or more away and not 2 inches?!

What other movie cliches that just wouldnt work can you think of?

[Sipowicz]

Dave, they go into well lit houses and still use torches!

[woofgang]

Cowboys in clean clothes and my DH's favourite, when someone uses binoculars and the screen goes binocular shaped. People smelling flowers that in reality have no scent. The wrong things being in flower in gardens. Lift doors closing on stuff when in reality the lift doors would have safety sensors. Ship's captains marrying people.

[rowanwitch]

sex in the surf..... have you any idea how painful that can be....

[sunny-dave]

ooohhhh gritty city :+(

[ChuckFickens]

Cars squeal their tyres on every surface, be it grass, sand, gravel there will always be a squeal.

[FredPuli43]

For those who want to be reminded of hundreds of cliches, and also stock scenes, stereotypes and other hackneyed devices , this book has them, and it's in paperback:

Ebert's Bigger Little Movie Glossary: a compendium of cliches...

The author, a film critic, started collecting these for one book and got so many suggestions from readers that he compiled this bigger one.

[Davethedog]

Sipowicz True :-)

Rowan - sex in the movies full stop. People in bed half clothed. Women who despite it only her and one other keeps herself coyly covered up.

I could go on :-)

[jno]

the L-shaped sheet is quite famous. Comes up to the man's waist but covers the woman's chest. But just try to get some in John Lewis.

[Mattk]

Boxing films where both have beaten each other to a bloody pulp but in reality the fight would have been stopped in round 2!

[ChuckFickens]

A group of bad guys will always form an orderly queue to attack the good guy, rather than all attacking at once.

[rowanwitch]

Bad guys are awful shots

and always tell the hero the reasons why they are going to kill him giving him time to think up his escape plan...

[VHG]

I think the stupidest thing I have seen in any film the last few years was in the Da Vinci Code. In fact I thought it was so stupid I walked out after 20 minutes.

Head of Louvre has been killed and Tom Hanks is taken to see the body.

Tom Hanks pretends to escape by jumping out the window, so like headless chickens all the police jump in their cars to race after him.

Nobody is left to guard the body, or to guard the entrance to the gallery or guard the paintings, or to see if the killer is still in the building (as the Louvre is so huge he could still be there).

This leaves Tom Hanks and the girl time to look at the body, move it around, look for clues on and around the body, wander round the building looking at various paintings and so on.

All of which is very unlikely.

[joko]

fight scenes, where all the baddies patiently wait while the hero goes through them one by one... in reality theyd just get piled on

how the baddies are always a terrible shot and fire off hundred of rounds withiout hitting anyone....in reality theyd be shot to bits

how people are never properly shocked enough... they are seeing something utterly and totally shocking to the core - such as a 20 foot alien...yet their eyebrows dont even raise etc ... in reality theyd be helpless and hyperventilating etc - at least at first

the hero gets beaten to a pulp, burned, bruised etc withiout a sound, then wince with pain when the love interest dabs their wound with a wet cloth...

[joko]

the way they can always find their way into secret compartments, ducts etc, by shifting a panel in the toilet or something...and have access to the whole building freely - or plane etc

how one single elbow blow to the shoulder or something will totally disable and knockout all the trained security and and trained killers etc - yet the hero is pretty much invincible

[cathfromsaron]

i find that people never look where they are driving in films ...

also, people leave long gaps of suspense in speeches and nobody says 'c'mon then!' ...

[funnygirl]

Actors are soaking wet in one scene and bone dry the next!!!

And when fleeing the baddie, they get to their car and it never starts!!!!

[woofgang]

oh yes driving a car....the way the wheel is swing freely from side to side driving along a straight road.

[cazzz1975]

when the action guy gets out of his car whilst its still moving to jump onto a vehicle on the motorway.

fist fights on top of trains and trucks dont look achievable either

[joko]

things is though, most films thrive on peoples errors and cliches - its essential that people mess up - if everyone just did the 'right' thing - what most people would do - there would often be no film.

The person being chased HAS to fall and be unable to get up, to get caught....instead of just ignoring the cut on their leg and running on.
They person hearing a noise outside HAS to go out and check, instead of either ignoring it or calling the police - like most people would.
The person trusting the dodgy stranger HAS to go with them wherever they want - because if they just said no and just went home - as most people would, there'd be no film.

so as much as i huff and get exasperated at the stupid things that happen in films, i know that without them all films would only be about 10 minutes long and very boring - haha!

[chaptazbru]

Whenever something really spooky or supernatural is happening, instead of running away for dear life (as I would), they stay behind and creep through the house trying to find out what's going on !