Curiosity (And We Know What That Did To The Cat)

[albaqwerty]

Another thread got me pondering about parenting.

I don't think there is a 'perfect' parent, we're all human surely?

I was thinking about the time when the 4 of us were camping, under canvas, 2 tents, both sons in one tent and Mr Alba and I in the other.

If anything had happened to either, I don't think Mr Alba and I would ever come to terms with it.

Was that the rose-tinted days of 20 years ago? Are things worse now?

[ummmm]

I don't think they are worse.

I was burgled in the middle of the night while we all slept. He went through my kids bedrooms. He could have taken any of them and I wouldn't have known until the morning.

One of my first memories is me sitting outside my house playing in the dust (summer 76) in just a pair of shorts. Again...anyone could have took me.

[Barsel]

In my own experience, I believe when I was younger, my parents gave me more leeway than I gave my children, but my children are almost fanatical about protecting their children, so I think times have changed, but at the end of the day,we all parent as we think fit.

[albaqwerty]

I think parents just 'follow their gut instincts' ummm x

[albaqwerty]

Barsel, I agree with you.
I was allowed out to play in the 'back lane' at about 6 or 7 years old (maybe younger) walked to school on my own when I was about 8-ish - was a fair distance- but the thought of the sons walking that distance at that age would fill me with utter dread now.

[Sqad]

alba.......how old were the sons?

I had never heard of abductions in my childhood, wan't scared of "MEN" would go for long walks alone.......into the woods.....fishing...wasn't scared.
As far as i know....;-)...was never left alone as a 3 year old.

[ummmm]

I think the change in attitudes to children being out of sight is due to the increase in cars. When I was little there was only a few houses that owned a car. Nowadays many streets can't find a parking space.

Also we have 24 hour news....so we so many bad things happening in the world.

[albaqwerty]

4 and 5 respectively sqad,
must admit, don't think anyone got any sleep that night, they were too excited about camping and Mr A and I just lay there and listen to them with the odd 'will you 2 hush, there are other people on the campsite y'know!)

[Zacs-Master]

Taking my daughter and two daughters of friends (who's parents were with us, incidentally) when they were about 10/11, up helvellyn and along striding edge in cloud prooooobably wasn't such a good idea looking back. Gulp.

[ummmm]

My grandparents owned a caravan in a local caravan park. We all used to share it various weekends. One time when I was 4 we were walking to the club and I was trotting along behind my parents but something caught my eye in the lake and I fell in. It's was only when my mum turned round to check on me that she realised I was gone.

Is that neglect?

[pixie374]

No, none of us are perfect- and probably a lot is down to luck. But I did have three under 3s and would never have left them alone together, even for a few minutes, because they might have hurt each other, let alone anything else.

[ummmm]

I am guilty of leaving mine when they were asleep to nip to the shop. But...the shop was only 5 houses away.

I would never leave them while holiday. I wouldn't be able to relax.

[jno]

same here, ummmm, used to leave jno jnr asleep while I popped out to get the paper. In theory anything could have happened, from him getting up and electrocuting himself to nuclear attack; but I never thought it would and it didn't. Always kept him in sight on holiday though.

My brother somehow got detached when we went to the doctor when he was three; Mum was fairly frantic. But he just slipped off and toddled half a mile home. As you say, few cars in those days; we used to play in the street all the time. Now, you'd be much more worried and rightly so.

[gness]

When I was three or four I was sitting with a friend on the street kerb dropping stones down a drain......we had no toys... :-(
A man stopped in his car and asked us to come and help him find his lost puppy....and we were going to....but the mother of the boy who took my pink fondant fancy at the Coronation Party was alerted by a car stopping ......not many in those days.....and she ran out....grabbed us and chased him away....
Things happened then too but we hear more now and as Ummmm says the increase in traffic made me more wary of letting my children have the freedom I had.......x

[pastafreak]

I can remember being maybe 4 or 5 and sitting with my friend in the breezeway between our house and garage. A car stopped at the end of our drive...maybe 30-40 feet away...and a man beckoned to us. I know I knew not to go to him.
When my daughter was 6-7, we'd put her to bed and go work out in the garden...it was a VERY long garden. Sometimes she slept...but she often hung out the window calling to us. And...I too ran out to the shop when she was tiny...lived in a city flat then.

[mikey4444]

It would depend on the ages of the boys alba.

I think that if you had asked them, they would much rather have preferred being in the tent on their own, rather than with Mummy and Daddy....I know I would !

[Prudie]

I'm sure attitudes have changed over the years, my mother would take huge offence if I said she was guilty of neglect but I was left alone in the house with just a dog from about 7 while my parents went out for the evening many times, I've spent hours sitting in the car or wandering the woods while they were in the pub from an early age, I walked to school or the bus stop from primary age. Funny as if I'd done any of tbat to my daughter as a child my mother would have gone spare. By the way they weren't drunks, the pub (or the Mess) was where everybody socialised those days.

[pixie374]

My dad used to do that, prudie. We were 7,5 and 3 and he would leave us for the night with a pile of horror videos and a bag of sweets :-). Five dogs, so nobody would have come in, I guess.

[Tilly2]

Remember when Mums used to put the baby in a pram and put them outside for some fresh air?

[ummmm]

Yes...and leave them outside shops.

[albaqwerty]

hah!! pmsl ummm, Mr Alba's mum did that.
left him in pram outside shop, she went home with the shopping and after a short while, she remembered she'd forgotten to bring home her 6 month old baby!