Help me im in court tommorrow and very scared!

[pinkbunny]

If anyone could help me I would be most greatful,
I have to appear in court tommorrow as a witness the story is my ex partner is a nutcase and beat me and my 6 year old daughter on a regular basis, we had no one to turn to and eventually managed to break free and flee to a refuge. Now a year on the trial starts tommorrow, he is charged with abh on me and my daughter battery x2 on me and perverting the course of justice. I am so terrified of being in court near him and he has gone not guilty on all charges so it is now being herd at crown court with a full jury. I dont know why he has gone not guilty when there is medical evidence to prove my injuries I really dont understand why he is putting me through all this. He has horrendous previous for battery burglary common assalt gbh abh assault on a police officer possesion of drugs and weapons avaiding arrest driving without due care leaving the scence of an accident and so on.
If he is found guilty how long is he likely to get in prison if he goes? Me and my daughter need to move on with our lives without him being a threat anymore, any words of advice or support would be most greatfully recieved.

[sara3]

I can't answer all your questions but when you get to court you need to ask for a Witness Support Officer. they will ensure you sit in a safe area where you will not see the defendant, and should be able to answer any questions you have.

his legal rep may ask you obnoxious questions in court. don't lose your temper, and direct your answers to the judge. look to the prosecuting barrister if you feel lost, and don't be afraid to say you if don't know the answer to a question.

I wish you luck. he sounds like a pig who will get what he deserves. take care x

[pinkbunny]

Thank you so much Sara I will do just when I get there, I feel totally isolated through all this as I do not have anyone who I feel I can turn to.

[MrBen5]

As sara says above pinkbunny, his solicitor will try and make you get angry and twist things. Be careful not to argue and snap.
If its your first time in court, it can be pretty scary, but dont worry, there are people there to look after you. (You might wanna take a friend along if you can, for some moral support).
You will be sat in a seperate section to him and wont even see him until you get in the court room. Even then you dont have to look at him and he will not be able to talk to you direct.
If what you say is true, he will probably be looking at approx. 3-4 years(dependant on the judge), with conditions upon his release.
Just try to stay calm in the courtroom and answer any question they ask you.
Dont forget, your solicitor will be the first to ask you what happened, then you will be cross examined by his.
It will be over a lot quicker than you think.
Hope he gets what he deserves...

[sara3]

take someone with you if you can. it's daunting, but try not to be too scared. hopefully it will all be over by this time tomorrow, and you and your daughter can have a celebration dinner :o)

let me know how it goes? I feel he is doomed!

[y-cymro]

There will be people in court who can help you - especially the Witness Support people.

Very often, people will plead not guilty until the day of court and them the barristers will get together tomorrow and come to some sort of deal. (sadly, quite often, the prosecuting barrister will not be fully aware of the case until just before the court day).

(Barristers also get paid a lot of money for going to court, so even if they turn up and then the plea changes to guilty, the barristers get a full day's pay. Unfortunately it's a game that they play nd it's the victim who ends up being messed around and being kept in the dark.

If it does go to trial, the advice you've been given is right, stay calm, and the prosecuting barrister will lead you through your evidence (from the statement you gave at the time). If the defence barrister does have a go at you or try to twist your words, just stick to your guns.

Best of luck, and I know it won't stop you worrying, but remember the most important thing - it's not you that's done anything wrong, and be strong for your sake and that of your daughter.

[Drisgirl]

Poor you -its daunting appearing in court re minor charges let alone this cataloque.

I suspect he will go down for a long time -certainly suffiecient time for you to move on and rebuild your lives without looking over your shoulder.
I will be thinking of you tomorrow -its harrowing but believe me you will find the courage for your daughters sake.Sara has given you good advice I just wanted to add my support for you.
Let us know ho you get on -take care -keep strong xxxx

[frankofile]

Thinking of you. You are not the accussed. so stop worring, He is the C--t. Please try to look him in the eye with attitude., Personally I would bury him alive. I Can't give any practical advice as I hve no background in this But you have my total support, believe me

[pinkbunny]

Thank you all so much at a time where I feel so alone all your words of support and advice are very much appreciated I will keep you all posted on what happens, thanks again everyone you dont know how much your words mean x x

[y-cymro]

Stay strong - we'll all be thinking of you

[Postdog]

just to add if you have medical evidence, all the better for you, and him pleading not guilty will probably do you a favour in the long run. Chances are if he plead guily, he'd act all remorseful and possibly get off, but if he is found to be a liar, then it will look worse for him.

Try to get some sleep and not worry.

[Drisgirl]

Yip ditto -just think its the start of the rest of your new life -a happy one xx

[sanden]

Pinkbunny - good luck for tomorrow. Just something I was told when I thought I was going to be called as a witness in court is, just answer the question. It is easy to waffle on and say more than you should, so just answer what you have been asked.
Dont forget to let us all know how you get on tomorrow.
I am sure the pleb will get whats due to him!

[Rosetta]

The refuge staff should also be helping you through this process. If not, they should be so ask.
If your partner assaulted your daughter did you rport it to the police. What are they doing about it, if nothing why not.?

You can seek independent advice from your local CAB. In my experience they are very good

[pinkbunny]

Hey as for the assaults on my daughter I know to some it may sound insane but I was not aware that it was going on. My daughter was interviewed by a specialist police officer once we were safe in the refuge, they were interviewing her to see if she would say anything to back me up. Once she was being interviewed it all came out how he used to hit her in the night or when I would walk our dogs in the evening and would tell her not to make a sound because if I ever found out what was happening then he would kill me and she would be left to live alone and when you are six you believe what you are told by an adult.
He used to threaten to kill her cat and would mentally torture her, I stupidly thought that he would never hurt her as he was always fine with his girls that he had from a previous relationship and as he never marked her and she never felt she could speak up I never realised, which is something I will feel guilty about untill the day I die. From that interview with her he was then also charged with abh on her. I am going to go through with the court case purely for her as the assaults on me I would almost "let go" so that I didnt have to go through it all but I want my daughter to see justice will be done and to show her that what he did was terribly wrong and although I failed her as a mother by protecting her when I was with him I am protecting her future now by standing up to him.
I wish I had come on this site earlier on in all this as the support from everyone is giving me great strength.

[SHELLP]

Pinkbunny

Good luck for tomorrow, I have to go to court against my ex and the court support people told me that in most cases they change their plea to guilty once they actually see youy turn up to give evidence against them. They are hoping that you will not turn up.

Hope everything goes your way and the scum gets what he deserves

[terambulan]

Take comfort Pinkbunny that this man will be convicted and that's just the start for him. He will have a hard time in prison for these offences especially on ur daughter. The other prisoners will finish him off!

He will never be the same man again. And ur work will be cut out re-building ur daughters confidence. Carry ur daughters token (something small in ur hand) to remind you to be brave for her.

I wish u both well.........and success with having this coward put away so he cannot ever repeat same to anyone else.

[jno]

does your daughter really have to give evidence? I'm sure he deserves it, but it's a hell of a task to get a daughter to send her father to prison, however bad he may be. Hopefully as Shellp says he will change his plea when he sees you in court. Otherwise do what you can to protect your little girl.

[helpmepls]

No advice as I dont know alot about this field.

Just wanted to give my support. I wish you all the best with your life...sounds like you've been through ****! Dont worry...everything will be fine lovey. What goes around, comes around....he'll get what he deserves. All the best. Good luck. xxxxx

[sugarnspice2]

please dont be scared .......................you have to do this to stop this **** geting away with it
i had a court case 2 months ago and he changed his plea on day but i am devastated at a the sentence passed towards someone who abused me physically and mentally for 3 years
he was originally in crown court for 2 attempted gbh with intent and putting a person in fear of violence act section 4 with 18 other assualts listed including a threat to put in intensive care .he had previous for common assault on me 3 years ago and was on probation for 18 months and dvp programme which actually made him worse .the charges on him were in realtion to me being 7 months pregnant and kicking and after birth realting to a ceasearen scar
on the day of trial he changed his plea to guitly on abh instead of gbh and last week he was sentenced ..to a 12 month sentence suspended for 2 years and 150 hours community service :( no fine no cost no compensation
i had photographic evidenceand medical witnesses and hospital reports
i have since learnt that he actually assaulted his new girlfriend in january and was put on community order then
the law is an ass and everyone who has helped and supported me are gutted at sentence also and while i want to say is i wish i hadnt bothered with all this emotional upset over lasyt year i want to urge anyone and i mean ANYONE going through domestic violence please dont let them get away with it
i obvioulsy had a ******** judge sentencing that day
apparently i cant appeal because the law of this land says abh and gbh cant be looked at again if too lenient sentence passed itmakes a mockery of what i went through and i feel i am serving a sentence for life BUT i am trying to move forward cos he not worth wasting my energy hating him on anymore

[Rosetta]

When you read this you should have been to court and the ordeal of giving evidence will be over.
I read your later post this morning. What a monster that man was to treat you and your daughter the way he did. I hope they have locked him up for a long time.
Once the trial is over you will feel a huge relief. Dont beat yourself up about not knowing, these creatures are very good at manipulation and lies.
You are doing the right thing and your daughter will know that no one should get away with hurting another like he did.
Stay strong and look after yourself, you and your daughter deserve some happiness.